December 31, 2012

2012 In a Nutshell

12 months ago I said "hello, please be nice" to the year of 2012, and just like a blink of the eye, it's time to say "goodbye and thanks for the memories". Well, the last 365 days of my life had been awesome. A lot has changed and alhamdulillah, I've found balance in many terms of life. Here's a brief recap and highlight of the best things that ever happened to me in 2012. ^^


As a matter of fact, I don't have any official careers yet. But I did experience it during 6 months (March-August) of paid internship at Desa Hatchery. It's not my dream job at all, and to walk in a pool of chicken blood wasn't so cool. But I took those as challenges and I had so much fun working there. 

Family and friends

I had a lot of family events this year. Aidilfitri, birthday celebrations and holiday trips were the best ever. What I love about my family, especially my siblings, is they love to make many plans for us to have fun. My eldest brother and 2 sisters are married and have their own families, so we won't let the different lives grow us apart. Going for trips and having big lunch/dinner as weekend treats have been the perfect ways to get together. At the same time, I've made a wide circle of friends within the year and bonding with them has created the sweetest memories. I was glad to break the walls and build bridges again. :)


I went to a prom night of faculty with my friends from the whole batch which was the last prom we attended together. And not to forget that I also attended The Awesome Bloggers Gathering 2012 where I got to meet bloggers that I've known throughout my blogging experience. :)


I don't really have a stable financial position but I'm still feeling grateful to receive scholarship from the state government and I no longer totally depend on my parents. What I want to highlight is that I managed to get a new smart phone in midyear and a new laptop last month, both with my own savings. :)


It's already my final year of study and it's been really tough. Juggling between assignments, exams and final year projects are not easy especially for someone who can't multitask like me. But there's always joy in hardship. :)


I made a big change on myself this year. I thank God for giving me chance and leading my heart to be better. It may be tiny or insignificant to others, but being someone who wears hijab permanently is a turning point of my life. I've came to realize that wearing hijab is more than covering ourselves physically. It's also an act of being modest, portraying a believer of Islam, and all of those come with intention to please Allah. :)

Love life

As I've announced several days ago, 2012 marked the 4th year of relationship of me and Ifo. Even 4 years, he never fails to amaze me. I wish our love will remain until forever. I wish in future, he's the one that would lead prayer in front of me. :)

Goodbye 2012 and thanks for the memories. ^^

December 30, 2012

That is Loyalty

When you slept, He was awake. When you broke, He held you up. When every means failed, He saved you. When everyone left you, He remained. He always remains. 
Never forget when the storms pushed you to your knees and there's no one else who could help you, He carried you. When you're broken and you swore this time it couldn't be fixed, never forget who fixed it. Never forget what He saved you from. Never forget how He put you back together. 
That moment when you felt helpless and alone, never forget who never left. No matter who or what may be beside you now, never forget those moments when it was only Him. Only Him. That is loyalty.


December 29, 2012

I Wonder

Sometimes I wonder why sometimes our hearts are more tender than usual. I wonder how people can say such disheartening things. I wonder if I've done something to make someone else sad. I wonder how sometimes I laugh about something so silly and within the next minute, burst into tears for something that hurts. And then there are days when nothing seems to be right and you wonder if you're naive for wake up with a hope for the day. The day which later turns out to be a day of disappointments.

Today I become a bit discouraged. I wonder how much my life could be impacted by..something.
Then I realize, it matters for the moment, but I won't let it sour my overall feelings.
I'll be sad and feel disappointed. But at the end of the day I must dust myself off, get up off the ground, and know that it's okay to fail sometimes. Failures only make us wiser, stronger.

Forever in Memory

It was a great day..
I finally finished and submitted my thesis part 1 that I dreaded over the past few days. I also had a great time today with Ifo and his sister, Niza; gadget-hunting, having lunch and hanging out at Tanjung Aru beach. 
It was a great day..
..until I got a text from my friend telling the death of someone that I met during internship. 

If you were following my internship story in March to August 2012, you might have read an entry that I wrote about the day we went to a house of a chicken slaughterer, Hj Marusin and met his wife. They're one of the sweetest old couples I've ever met. They're so kind, generous and treated us like their grandchildren. We visited them more than once, including on Aidilfitri, and we've been getting closer since then. 
Classes and final year projects kept us busy. We didn't get the chance or time to manage a visit at Hj Marusin's place. Just a couple of days ago I was thinking of them, reminiscing the sweet memory at the house and I miss them so much, especially the wife. I was planning to visit her after final exam.
But now, I could never see her again. She died today, this evening. 

I don't know what's the exact reason, but as far as I concern, she's old and suffering illness that old people are commonly having. I wish I were there now with Hj Marusin's family. I still remember when they told us how they met each other long long time ago. It's the sweetest story. I've known her only in a short period of time, but she's been a part of my happiness, a part of the reasons that strengthen the bond between me and my friends, a part of something that keeps me believing that love lasts forever.

My friends with Hj Marusin and his late wife

May Allah place her among the ones He loves and among the members of Jannah. Amin....


December 24, 2012

The Love we Deserve

We accept the love we think we deserve.

That's a quote from a book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower (by Stephen Chbosky), which was really good. It's a beautiful story of a troubled boy who finds hope in a seamlessly hopeless world. I know the movie's coming out, but I recommend you to read the book first. This entry is not about the book by the way, since I've already wrote the review before. Instead, I'd like to talk about the quotes.
I was inspired to write this after having a "YOLO" conversation with a friend yesterday.  

Well, sometimes giving someone your everything doesn’t seem like enough. That's why there questions like, why hasn’t this been working? Why do some stay in unhealthy relationships? Why do some reject those who love them? Why are some so lucky? 
The truth is, we accept the love we think we deserve.

The way we're treated is dictated by ourselves, not others. If you don’t think you deserve to be treated the way you are, the only thing keeping you from walking away is yourself. We’re sad when we think we have the right to be sad. We’re angry when we think we have the right to be angry. So why don’t we love when we think we have the right to be loved?

There's no handcuff of silence. It’s okay to forgive and admit you're wrong. But it’s also okay to leave, walk away from the emotional abuse of that relationship, and don’t settle because you don’t think you can do better. We're imperfect beings. But our imperfections are neither reasons to stay nor leave. We can always do better for others and for ourselves. Your choice is whether the trials pave a road worth traveling.

Allow those around you to love you and love those who surround you. Don’t settle for less and don’t cut yourself short. Because at the end of the day, the love we accept is the love we think we deserve.

I love you. ;)

December 23, 2012

4 Years and Counting

4 years ago, me and Ifo found each other. In the years since, we've gone through ups and downs, highs and lows.The journey's not over just yet but I'm delighted that I’ve made it this far with him. We're sure the future holds so many new obstacles but we would make it, as we always do.

Today marks our 4th anniversary! ^^ 
Well, the journey hasn't been easy. There's always a bumpy road to happiness, right? All of the things that have happened have brought us to where we are today and I wouldn't change a thing.

Dear Ifo.
Thank you for believing in me.
Thank you for listening to me.
Thank you for accepting me for who I am.
Thank you for helping me and pushing me into becoming a better person.
Thank you for somehow understanding me and seeing what makes me special enough to let me be a part of your life.
Thank you for everything for the past 4 years.

When I think about all the memories we had; the bad and good times, I think about how much we've grown since 2008. He will always be forever in my heart, permanently in my memories. I love you, Ifo. Always have and always will.

Happy Anniversary.

“When I find the person who is perfect for me, he won’t feel inadequate in my presence. He will see my light, talents, intelligence, and charisma and use it to brighten his own life. He will embrace my flaws and help me build bridges where there were once dams. He will love without condition; he will love even when he’s sad and angry. He will inspire me, we will inspire each other, and this will be love, finally.”- Samantha Willner

December 21, 2012

The Greatest Love of All

It’s not easy to let go. Or is it? We agree that there are things harder than letting go of what we love. Yet, sometimes that’s exactly what we have to do. Sometimes we love things that we can’t have. Sometimes we want things that are not good for us. And sometimes we love what's forbidden (specifically in Islam). To let go of these things is hard. Giving up something the heart adores is one of the hardest battles we ever have to fight.

But what if it didn't have to be such a battle? What if it didn't have to be so hard? Could there be an easy way to let go of an attachment? Of course there is. Find something better.

They say you don’t get over someone until you find someone better. As humans, we don’t deal well with emptiness. The pain of emptiness is too strong. A single moment with an empty spot causes excruciating pain. That’s why we run from distraction to distraction, and from attachment to attachment.

In the quest to heal the heart, people speak a lot about breaking the false dependencies. But then there’s always the question of ‘how?’ Once there's a false attachment, how to break free? It's often too hard. We get addicted to things and can’t seem to let them go. Even when they hurt us and damage our lives and our bond with God. We just can’t let them go because we're too dependent on them. And so, even when we struggle to give them up, we often abandon the struggle because it’s too hard.

I think it's because we haven’t found something we love more to replace it. So in letting go, the answer lies in love. Fall in love with something greater. As in Islam, it's best to love Allah more than anything. So even when trouble gets in the way, we go through it with patience, prayers and faith. The love of God is the greatest love of all. :)

Inspired by Yasmin Mogahed 

“Allah sometimes gives and sometimes takes. He is sometimes pleased and sometimes displeased with our deeds. Whether a thing is beneficial or harmful to me, I will remain firm in my belief and remain thankful to my Creator.”— Prophet Ayub (a.s)

December 20, 2012

Dear Bilbo Baggins

I must say that The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey was such an epic story! It told a story of Bilbo Baggins and his greatest adventures 60 years ago. The quest was recruited by Gandalf to help the Dwarfs reclaiming their kingdom from a dragon. They dealt with so many challenges during their journey like encountering Trolls, Orcs, Goblins, Giant Stone and Gollum. 

The riddle game between Bilbo and Gollum stood out as the best part in the film. I laughed so hard I almost fell off my seat. :p Gollum's one of the freakiest creatures I've ever seen, with his intense facial expression and creepy voice. Gosh, recalling the scene could still make me laugh. LOL! Andy Serkis did a very good job. 

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

And of course, Bilbo was my favorite character. Martin Freeman's portrayal of Bilbo was pitch perfect, right down to the small hand movements and facial gestures, capturing the self doubt, humor, and mannerisms of dear Bilbo. I love Bilbo as he's not only clever, but also ethical, even with his opponent. His performance was one of truly special elements (aside from the brilliant, haunting musical theme and beautiful scene) that make the film feel fresh. And there's the ring. The ring that would lead to far more gruesome adventure. I thought if only Bilbo didn't take the ring and returned it to Gollum instead, things would be different. Well, that's how LOTR started anyway. 

I'm really looking forward to watch the next sequels! ^^

December 17, 2012

RIP Young Lives

Can't believe what I was hearing about the school shooting in Connecticut that killed 28 people, including 20 innocent children. My heart shattered to pieces. I'm still so angry inside that someone would ever want to take life from any human at all, let alone human as innocent as those kids. It's even harder to be grasped when I read the profile of suspected killer, Adam Lanza. You can read it here:

He's a nerd! A smart boy with major issues. And he's also said to be an autistic. How could an autistic boy kill people? And out of everyone, why children? I mean, they're just kids, for God's sake. 
Adam Lanza was truly insane, or maybe he's hallucinating or didn't comprehend reality. Whatever. Kids were killed. We've been saddened enough by the dead children in Palestine, now another tragedy came up, it's just too much. If the world's going to end soon, then be it. Can you live in a world where humanity fades and even adults kill children? 

they're among the victims. RIP.

 Deepest condolences to the families of the victims.

December 15, 2012

When Hard Work is a Joy

Food Product Development (FPD) is one of the subjects that I take for this semester. As a part of assessments, we're divided into teams to establish companies and develop new innovative food products. My team, Yummy Kids World Sdn Bhd have developed soy pancakes, namely Yummy Tummy Pancake, and yes, we're targeting on children since we fell under category of food for 5 to 6 year-old kids. This is the reason I spent most times in labs and to be frank, it's the most challenging subject so far. All of us have worked so hard until the day of FPD Exhibition and Competition 2012, which was yesterday at our faculty (School of Food Science and Nutrition). 

The event was a collaboration between faculty and Adabi Consumer Industries Sdn Bhd. So the judges of competition consisted of our lecturers and Adabi team including the president of Adabi, Mr Abdul Hady. The products include soy pancakes (ours), instant cereal drink, sweet potato brown rice crackers (best booth), spinach biscuits, breakfast cereals, energy bars (2nd place), mix chicken cake (3rd place), chicken-filled croquette (best product - 1st place), ravioli with dhal paste, chicken balls, seaweed and hinava flavored pizza, and fish patties. I loved them all.

The judges went from booth to booth for product testing and judging, which was both nerve-wrecking and exciting. They gave us constructive feedback including comments and suggestions, and we're delighted when one of lecturers praised us saying "I've never tasted such a delicious pancake before. Your pancake is even better than the ones that are served in hotels. I love it and if I were you, I'll take the challenge to sell this product in future." Touché! ^^

Even though we only won the consolation prize, it's still a joyful day. Besides, we didn't expect to win at all because the bottom line is that we wanted to learn and have more experiences for future's sake. And yes, I've learned so many things and had fun in so many ways. I enjoyed working with my team and together we've made unforgettable memories. We've also had so much fun with other teams and been very supportive all this time. Congrats to my friends who won and I'm wishing the best for all of us in next chapters. 

our developed food products.

my team: Yummy Kids World Sdn Bhd
we made it!

they won The Best Booth.

me and Umi, my best friend and one of the team members that won The Best Product .

with my Chinese friends.

It's fun to be a food technologist. ^^

December 12, 2012


For the highs and the lows. The days of being completely on my own, days of pure joy...
For those who have broken my heart, those who have tricked me into loving them by wearing a disguise, those who love me more than I ever have myself... 
The scary moments, the moments of utter embarrassment, the laughter-filled nights...
The family I miss (but always close in my heart)...
The friends who've moved on and the friends who've stayed close...
The tears of happiness, tears of sorrow...
For confusion, clarity, and everything in between.

These are the things that bring me even closer to love. These are the things that are meant to happen.
These are the things for which I give my thanks on this special day (12.12.12), the things that make me love my blessed life. 
Every little bit of it.

I love you. Have a nice day. ^^

December 11, 2012

Follow the Brush

If you follow the paintbrush with your eyes without moving your head, it forces you to use eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), which is a therapeutic technique to calm anxiety or panic. Watching fish swim causes the same effect. 

Keep calm and enjoy your life. I love you. ^^

P.S: I tried this, and it actually makes me sleepy. :p

December 9, 2012

Sky's the Limit


I frequently look at the sky while enjoying the view anytime anywhere. It's like my new hobby. The sky, which is constantly above us every night and day, is such a wonderful creation by God. When I look up into the sky, my brain just stops..wondering how high is high, how far does it go, and why do clouds smear like that? And sometimes I feel like looking back in time.

Yes, it’s a freedom zooming out of your brain and into the unknown. Staring up into the sky, as the clouds roll by, way past the trees, deep into the stars, as our spinning world reminds us how small we all are. It literally freezes the time especially when I'm drowning in stress. You know how it feels like to have so much in plate and no "me" time. So this is how I relax and remind myself that I'm not alone, that The One who could make things easy for me is always up there. :)

These are some photos that I took recently:

at Kundasang

sunset view at Lokkawi

evening sky at Kingfisher Sulaman


December 8, 2012

On Life and Love

Did you ever notice how a stranger's smile can turn your bad day around? How much sweeter reunions are, the longer you've been apart. How much you appreciate warm in a cold day, and cool in a hot day. How great it feels to relax after a week of going non-stop.

Life's weird like that. But in a way, life's beautiful like that.

And so is love. The more you hold love in, the less loved you feel. The more you let yourself love, the more love you experience. The more you love, the harder you sometimes fall. And most importantly, the harder you fall for the wrong love, the more you open yourself up for the right love.

And when you fall for the right one, you're forever held by the wings of love, never allowing you to fall again.

Have a great weekend. I love you. ^^

December 6, 2012

Paramore Returns

I've been really stressed out lately due to the awful lots of assignments and presentations. Deadlines were close to each other. It drove me crazy.
I presented my thesis proposal last Friday and it's just okay. I mean, yeah it's the toughest 15-minute Q&A I've ever had, but at least the waiting's over. Then I spent my Sunday in library doing assignment which was due on the next day. You see, the problem was I always leave everything to the last minute and what did I get? A sick night. It wasn't easy but I managed to write 15 pages of Fermented Fruits in a night. It's not like writing on blog where you can pour out everything. I had to read 30 journals and more to make it complete. After submitted, I continued on other 2 assignments and at the same time, prepared for another presentation. 
I was fatigued. 

Now it's over and I just need to focus on final exam. But I still feel like throwing up when I see my books and journals. I feel like I can't take it anymore. I never thought that final year could be this hard. Whenever I felt like giving up, I got myself back fast because there's no point of giving up. 7 months to go. Be strong, Aemy. 

Oh by the way, I have something to announce. Well, maybe most of you may already know this, but I'm telling you anyway. Here we go,

They also play live in Manila before hitting Malaysia. Yay!!
See you guys in 2013! ^^

I am sooooo excited for this!! I really hope I could get the tickets and I don't want to miss it this time. I must go! Now I'm memorizing all lyrics so I can sing along with Hayley in the concert. I already dream of meeting her at the backstage. OMG!!!! I'm thrilled!! 
You can place your RSVP on their event page. More info here. ^^


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