I stayed overnight at Carol's apartment after we had sushi for dinner. It's been quite a long time since we last met on her graduation day. The sleepover just reminded us of the good old days in matriculation. We talked about so many things, topics to topics till midnight, including our current love lives and future like we had a clue. You know, girl talks.
|dinner at Sushi King|
And we talked of love languages. So how do you show your love? Me and Carol would definitely say we show ours in actions better than words. We'd love picking up little gifts for our partners, or planning out dates and vacations, writing short love notes and leaving them on desk. It’s all about actions for us.
Well, for a guy like Ifo, it’s different. He’s a dude. He likes body workout, music, and talks about sports/politics. He's rarely planning out dates, it's always me who doing it. He thinks gift-giving is overwhelming. I wasn't saying that he's not romantic, but he lacks of surprises and this whole stuff used to bug me once. I looked at my friends' boyfriends who got them bouquet of flowers for no reason or planned a candle night dinner, then it made me feel like Ifo didn’t love me the same way. Yes, we fought a bit about it and yes, it's silly. And if you fight about flowers, it takes the sparkle out of the moment when you actually do get them.
And I realize that comparison is the thief of joy.
So I started to think about it differently, how Ifo shows his love. He's the best listener in the world. He turns me into a positive person. He's affectionate and loving. He takes me to places I wanna go. He takes care of me. He stays by my side every time I'm feeling down and stressful. He makes me laugh. He helps me out in everything. There's a lot of ways that I just didn't see clearly. And I admit that it’s lame to think love means flowers. Now I only notice and appreciate the things he actually does, without feeling resentful for the things he's not.
Comparison is the thief of joy. There's a myriad definitions of love, but I'm sure that love is meant to be felt and doesn't necessarily have to be seen. :)
You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate. It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves, you could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and what I'm trying to say is...I think I love you. Is this love? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart, it feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange. No fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.