stand by somebody

when you're young you're wrapped up in your own life. you're moving, getting married, struggling to figure out what you wanna do. you think you have all the time in the world. then as you get older you start to realize that you don't have all that time, & you wanna pay attention to the people who are important to you.

idk if i ever be a negligent friend or show up enough, bcoz i used to feel like there's still so much time. when friendship's falling apart, i'd think, oh well, people change, things fall apart. but now i think, no, i don't wanna let this fall apart. but i often don't know how to not let that happen. 

friendship can be loose especially when we live in different places, we don't see each other, life's not in balance, & it makes things hard. we may hurt others' feelings without knowing it. there'll be times where we're closer & times when we're more distant. 

some people are nothing but happy for you & you should feel very lucky. it's the ones you got out of the gate with that can be difficult, where you wanted the same thing & you put in the same hours at the same time, side by side, & then one of you goes a little further. like, they have things that you don't have; things in your life they don't have. nothing lines up evenly & that's okay. there's hard time, & some friendships got lost. but the people you make it thru with, you're really happy for each other.

sticking around should come naturally. do you remember when you're 18 you'd say, "my friends are my family; who call me 1st on my birthday, who i go on vacation with, who i'm gonna give my favourite sweater to". i think that's youth for a lot of people. you've got time & energy, it's dramatic & romantic to stand by somebody who's in trouble. it's just not a question. but the interesting question is, at 40, would you do it? bcoz what i learned is you can't save anybody. you couldn't change people's destiny, but you can bear witness. you can be there & sit with them. so are you gonna stand by somebody no matter what?