Things We Know

"College is not the real world."

We know. We know that college's a unique, safe, bubble-like environment. We know this is a particularly wonderful chapter of our lives where we around people with similar interests, hopes, and ideas. People who stay up with you chatting about absolute nonsense. We know this is not how it'll be after we graduate.

"Graduating and finding a job isn't easy, especially in this economy."

We know. We know this probably more than one would expect. We watch the news, we walk past headlines printed across the paper that read: "Unemployment rates soar." We know we won't immediately land our dream job. We know that you want us to know that. And those few instances when our friends did land their dream jobs, well we know that you mark that up as a mere "fluke." We're aware that times are hard and coming out of college with a degree now deemed "practically useless" is going to be rough. If anyone knows this, believe me, it's us.

"You don't understand what it's like..."

We might not understand, you're right. But at one time or another, you didn't quite know what it's like either. And us, being reminded how much we don't understand, well that doesn't make us suddenly "understand" anymore than before, instead it adds stress. It's as though you're saying: "you don't know, and you never will." Because no matter how much we don't understand, we still have to face it. So please, please, help us know that though we don't understand now, we'll be okay. Because as much as you want to keep us from the possible storms ahead, it's where our boats must venture, no matter how rough it's gonna be.

Things we want you to know:

We know you care and that's why you're telling us these things. We know. But when you constantly tell us these things, it doesn't change anything. Instead, it leaves us feeling as though nothing can be done at this point. Absolutely nothing. We're doomed. But really, it's not, we're not. Far from it. It's gonna be harder than anything we might ever experience. We're gonna have a lot of our dreams crushed and have to alter a lot of paths along the way. But we're gonna be fine. Because we're not the 1st people in the history of the world to face hardships. We're not the first people to embark on unknown territory while so many scoffed and warned. We're not the 1st people to open a door to find a giant brick wall.

But we're so blessed to have the proper tools to break down those walls. Survive these uncertain times. We have advantages those before us didn't. And you're the ones who placed them in our hands, taught us how to use them. And for that, we're beyond grateful.

But you have to let us know that you trust us, you think we can do it. That you support our battle. But most of all, that you're rooting for us because you believe we can. That's all we want you to know. Whoever you are.

Mama

Moms are great. 

And we should celebrate them every day of the year. 

Because every day is Mother's Day, when it comes to the person who gave you life. 

You're continually amazed by how much love a mom can have, and how much she gives every day. 

You never forget the sacrifices she made for you. 

And now that you're a little bit older, you understand that even though she could be tough, she only wanted the best for you. 

And all you ever wanted was to make her proud and to make her smile. 

She taught you how to be a good person and that it's the little, everyday gestures that really matter. 

So make sure you're always there for the ones who were there for you from the start. 

Happy Mother's Day. ^^

Stick with Someone not Good Enough

Why do you still stick around when you know that he's abusive, manipulative, lying, boring, insensitive and selfish? Why do you still choose him when you don't even love him anymore? You still choose him because he chose you. That makes you feel better about yourself already. Right? But if he's not good enough, he's not the best that you can get, then why still stay? Why don't you break away from him and this relationship already?

Because you think that there's a binary relationship between him and loneliness; it's either him or loneliness. And you think you can't deal with loneliness. Or you don't wanna deal with loneliness. You don't wanna be alone because you don't know what to expect from it. You've been in a relationship for such a long time it feels unusual to not have someone to call or text all the time. It's weird to not have someone in mind to think about to get that fuzzy feeling in your chest. It's boring to not have someone to miss or buy things for when you go shopping. There's no someone to remind you that you're special too.

So to not risk throwing yourself into confusion, you choose to stay with him. And then you make yourself think that he's good enough albeit all his imperfections. That he's the best for you. So you tolerate all the little things in the relationship. You try to accept his flaws. You try to accept how he never makes you feel completely safe, you then think that you're the one going crazy, you're the one being insecure about things. You try to accept the lack of trust in the relationship, you think you two need to let time heal the wounds.

You become okay with knowing that he's not 100% in the game. That he's not as committed, passionate or forthcoming as before. That he thinks about things but doesn't really share them with you. You're unhappy because you feel jealous. You feel that many other things seem to be taking him away from you. The only time you feel secure is when you sit down with him and look him straight in the eyes, and know that he's there. That he's also looking back, at you and only you. That moment's perfect. That moment's what you think you only need. There and then, you know that he's yours. But those moments never last. When he's gone from your side, you begin to go through those images in your head and sieve out the ones you doubt. And you start to question: Why's he not texting me? Is he really so busy at work? When's the last time he said "I love you" to me? Why's he not asking about how's my day so far? 

Obviously, that moment's not enough. It's not all that you need. And so you help him with excuses. Because you rather face his hot-and-cold temperament, his inconsistency in things, his lack of initiative, and his lack of pride in you, than to face loneliness. You help him with excuses to feel better about it all. You tell yourself he loves you. You shouldn't have to. You tell yourself you're the most important thing in his life. He should be telling you this himself. Now and then, now and then.

You choose a love that's "not that bad" because of its consistency. But consistency can be a bad thing too, it means that things will never change. You expect him to change. But the truth is, he will never change for you. But at least it's better than loneliness, huh? Decide now. 

Just because someone desires you, does not mean that they value you.
Read it over.
Again.
Let those words resonate in your mind.

Like a Crescendo

Had a picnic at the beach with my friends yesterday on Labor Day. It's a simple picnic; KFC combo, mats, ukulele, volley ball, frisbee and  music. Simple yet sweet. :)

For whatever reason, I've always found the most clarity either while I'm at the beach or while I'm with my loved ones. Maybe it's something about the inevitable stillness in those situations, or maybe it's because they sometimes feel like movie moments. Like they deserve a soundtrack with indie songs and some kind of giant, fill-your-heart crescendo (found this phrase in a book I was reading..lol).

Either way, just a day at the beach and it became very clear: Life is good. 

(despite the fact that I'm having a flu now, life's still good)

So how's your day? ^^

It's Great to Be a Nerd

It's awesome to be a nerd. I don't know what the world's gonna be like by the time you understand this. I don't know what it's gonna mean to be a nerd when you're a young woman. For me, when I was growing up, being a nerd meant that I liked things that were a little weird, that took a lot of effort to appreciate and understand. It meant that I loved science, playing board games, reading books and really understanding what went on in the world instead of just riding the planet through space.

When I was little, people really teased me about that and made me feel like there's something wrong with me for loving those things. Now that I'm an adult, I'm a professional nerd, and the world has changed. I think we've realized that being a nerd isn't about what you love but about how you love.

So there's gonna be a thing in your life that you love. I don't know what it's gonna be. It might be sports or science or reading or telling stories. It doesn't matter what it is. The way you love that thing and how you find other people who love it the way you do is what makes being a nerd awesome. Some of us love Harry Potter, while others love Star Trek. But we all love those things so much that we travel far to be around people who love the things that we love the way that we love them. That's why being a nerd awesome.

Don't let anyone tell you that the thing that you love is a thing that you can't love. Don't let anyone ever tell you, "You can't love that. That's for boys." I want you to be honest, honorable and kind. I want you to work hard because everything worth doing is hard. I want you to be awesome, and I'll do my very best to leave you a planet that you can still live on. Have a great life.

- Wil Wheaton

Source: Reader's Digest (April 2014 issue)