It's Great to Be a Nerd

It's awesome to be a nerd. I don't know what the world's gonna be like by the time you understand this. I don't know what it's gonna mean to be a nerd when you're a young woman. For me, when I was growing up, being a nerd meant that I liked things that were a little weird, that took a lot of effort to appreciate and understand. It meant that I loved science, playing board games, reading books and really understanding what went on in the world instead of just riding the planet through space.

When I was little, people really teased me about that and made me feel like there's something wrong with me for loving those things. Now that I'm an adult, I'm a professional nerd, and the world has changed. I think we've realized that being a nerd isn't about what you love but about how you love.

So there's gonna be a thing in your life that you love. I don't know what it's gonna be. It might be sports or science or reading or telling stories. It doesn't matter what it is. The way you love that thing and how you find other people who love it the way you do is what makes being a nerd awesome. Some of us love Harry Potter, while others love Star Trek. But we all love those things so much that we travel far to be around people who love the things that we love the way that we love them. That's why being a nerd awesome.

Don't let anyone tell you that the thing that you love is a thing that you can't love. Don't let anyone ever tell you, "You can't love that. That's for boys." I want you to be honest, honorable and kind. I want you to work hard because everything worth doing is hard. I want you to be awesome, and I'll do my very best to leave you a planet that you can still live on. Have a great life.

- Wil Wheaton

Source: Reader's Digest (April 2014 issue)

From Aemy's Lab: Salted Fish Sambal

I used to hate cooking. Why? Because it was boring. (This just in: It is not.) Well, the real reason I hated it is because I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, no confidence whatsoever that I'd ever be able to navigate my way around the kitchen. 

My mom is an amazing cook. So much of my childhood was spent sitting in the kitchen, watching her whip up elaborate meals for us. She goes through the motions without thinking, adds ingredients without measuring. So I decided to dive in. Well, okay, maybe mom pushed me in a little bit. I can't just sit and watch her cooking forever. I'm not living in a castle waiting for my dinner to be served. So mom taught me to cook and she convinced me that I'd fall in love with cooking if only I learned how. And so I did learn. And so I do love it. Mom's always right. :)

Sambal dish is part of main course in our place, with chili base paste stir-fry to fragrant before adding the other main ingredients. They can be vegetable or seafood. One of my favorites is salted fish. So recently, using mom's recipe, I cooked salted fish with chili or sambal tumis ikan masin. Salted fish slightly stinks, but the taste, holy moly, is yummy! So here it is:

Ingredients:
Salted terubok fish (cut into pieces)
3 onions (ground)
4 garlic cloves (ground)
5 small chilies..or more, as you like (chopped)
2 tablespoons of chili paste
1/2 cup of tamarind water
2 tomatoes (diced)
2 big green chilies (chopped)
Pinch of salt and sugar

Directions:
1. Deep-fry the salted fish until crispy.
2. Evacuate the fish and replace the oil with new one (when you fry salted fish, the oil turns dark and you wouldn't want to reuse it).
3. Heat the oil in the pan, then stir-fry ground garlic and onions.
4. Add chili paste and stir-fry until fragrant.
5. Add small chilies, tamarind water (with the pulps) and tomatoes, stir. Lower heat and let it simmer.
6. Adjust the taste with salt and sugar.
7. Toss in salted fish and stir evenly. Add green chilies for garnishing. And it's ready to serve.

Maybe you can try this for dinner tonight. ;)

Bon appétit!

Bits of Wisdom

SPF 4 doesn't count. In fact, it probably contains more oil than sun protection.

It's worth keeping every movie ticket you've ever had, you'll want them someday.

It really, truly is okay to say no. Saying yes isn't always an option.

Parents are right almost all the time, so you may as well listen and learn.

Giving 100% to work or school is great, but you should give the same to friends.

You have to open up and seek out the joy, joy doesn't find you.

If he wants to be with you "in a couple years", move on. Love shouldn't have to be planned.

Friends will move away, you'll move away, and somehow, you'll be closer than ever.

The best kind of love is when you both put the other on a pedestal.

Have a great weekend. :)

Letting it All In

Previously a friend asked about love, heartbreak and moving on, about the hows and the whys. I've been thinking a lot about how to respond, remembering that desperate grip of hope that rises in the wake of a loss. Remembering the need for black-and-white clarity. Really, all of us just want someone to name that thing, that one thing we're feeling, because once we've named the unnameable, it somehow feels easier to erase; if only because we finally know what exactly we're trying to move past.

"How do you get over the feelings? How do you move on?" She asked.

There's no one answer, of course, and although she'd been talking about romantic love, I think we can all relate to that need to escape feelings. It's not always easy and I can't always manage, but if I'm angry or upset or lonely or jealous or afraid, I try to step back and say, "so be it." So be it. It's okay to feel sad and it's okay to feel nostalgic and it's okay to sink into those murky, melancholy feelings every once in a while. That's life. That's living. What matters, where your character lies, is in the action. The greatest marker of who you are is what you do with how you feel, what happens in those moments between sense and do.

When it comes to the most powerful, deep-rooted sorts of hurt, loss and heartbreak, I suppose I've never really set those feelings aside. They still scratch at my insides some days, when a moment or some strange emotion catches me by surprise. I've always felt like all those slivers of heartbreak still live somewhere inside me and on any given day, it's just a matter of where they lie. Most days I don't notice them. But some days, they sit in my stomach, making me nauseous. Other days, it's a quick poke that swiftly passes. And on the worst days, I feel those thick, heavy feelings of heartbreak filling up my throat until they make a lump so big I can hardly breathe. Sorry if that's exaggerated. 

"I can't even sleep, I'm drowning," she said.

I understood. Whenever I've experience pain, I wallow. I dive headfirst into mourning, basking in the most surreal kind of sadness. Long, dramatic crying spells, hours spent feeling everything at once, hours feeling nothing. The point is, I let all those feelings wash over me, drowning for just a little while until I'm literally exhausted by them, until I can't stand to sit still for another moment and all I wanna do is do something about it.

Eventually, that human impulse to fix will kick in. Eventually, you'll hit the surface. In the meantime, feel. Whatever it is, just let it in. Feel, and then do. And do something that makes you feel proud. Let your actions reflect your best self, and don't worry about the rest.

Cheating on Your Loneliness

This type of loneliness may always be in you, even if you're with someone. But you could cheat on your loneliness.

Think about how much your mother loves you.

Think about how much your father loves you.

Think about how many fires your sisters/brothers would walk through to protect your heart from being broken one more time.

Think about all the late night calls your best friends have taken and listened to you, no matter how trite.

Think about the ideas in your head.

Think about the people who have read some things you've written about and told you it made them feel a little less alone and less afraid.

Think about the people who have seen something special in you.

Think about the adventures you've had, the strangers who carried you through a tough moment on a leap of faith.

Think about the time you laughed so hard tears came out your eyes.

Think about what it feels like when you see a movie or a play or a work of art and for a minute, everything is suspended in that moment of transcendent and elusive beauty.

Think about all the stories you have.

Think about all of the stories you've yet to tell.

These things will never leave you. The space of what or who has left you only makes room for what needs to come. Thank them. And you don't have to feel lonely after all. 

When it Rains

Nothing can be more of a bummer when you have your day planned for going outside and the rain pours. While it's true that nothing beats the feeling of warmth brought about by sunshine, it doesn't mean that you can't have fun being indoors. You might feel that jogging feels more refreshing; shopping's a lot more fun; and other activities seem to become more interesting when the sun's out. But there are many things that you can do when it's raining when you feel like you have no choice but to be cooped at home. I don't feel cooped at all. So what I do when it rains?

Read a book. This might seem like a cliche, but it's really fun.

Watch movies. HBO, Fox, AXN and Star World are my favorite channels. 

Watch tv series that I've recorded in PVR.

Cook a lot; from my favorite meals to the new ones with new recipes. Bake. It's fun to do experiment in the kitchen especially when it rains.

Cuddle with my cats and let them nibble on my fingers. 

Enjoy a good hot cup of coffee or tea.

Browse some fancy stuff like shawls, blouses, shirts, dresses and places to go to someday.

When creativity strikes, I make some D.I.Y projects.

Sometimes I write; short stories, poems, random unsent letters. 

Learn to play piano with my old keyboard.

Blog..like right now. 

Read biographies of famous and inspirational people. 

Listen to cool songs, mostly Paramore's. 

Sleep. 

I don't do all of these things at one rainy day all at once. Since it's been endlessly raining for days, I do different things everyday. However, I still hope that the sun will shine again soon because I do miss going out with my friends..and I need the sun to dry my clothes. 

So what do you do at home when it's raining?

There will come a time when you love the sun again, you will love the flowers; but right now you may love the mist, the rain and the passing of time. Because it reminds you most of yourself, it reminds you of the uncertainty of the future and the loss of the pass. And that's okay, because you're learning to love those little parts of yourself that can be so easily forgotten in the glow and warmth of the sun. One day though, you will dance in the rays of afternoon and you will bask in the hope of restoration. But until then, know that you're allowed to love those silent moments of your life.

Dust on His Path

"There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allah often."
– Surah Al-Ahzab (33:21)

The salvation of humanity and every individual lies in following the blessed sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (saw), who has been sent by Allah (swt) as a role model for us until qiamat. But some people think that sunnah is only restricted to prayers, fasting and several others. Instead, there are sunnah for all the activities we do everyday. In Islam, the Arabic word 'sunnah' has come to denote the way Rasulullah (saw), the Messenger of Allah, lived his life. And following the sunnah of Rasulullah (saw) in all aspects of life will bring blessings of Allah to us. 

Here's a few sunnah of Rasulullah (saw):

1. Sunnah of eating

• recite bismillah and du'a before eating
• start with fruits if any
• use right hand, 3 fingers if possible
• don't drink while eating
• eat before hungry, stop before full 

2. Sunnah of sleeping

• clean and take wudhu before going to bed
• recite ayat al-Kursi before sleeping
• sleep on right hand side with right palm under right cheek
• keep knees slightly bent

3. Sunnah on anger management

• when you're angry while standing, sit
• when you're angry while siting, lie down
• when you're angry while lying down, take wudhu 
• never let anger control you, control the anger

4. Sunnah on favorite sports

• archery, riding horse and swimming

5. Sunnah on favorite food

• barley, dates, figs, olives, grapes, honey, watermelon, milk, mushroom, pomegranate, and plain water 

There are more and you can find them in many sources. Happy Maulidur Rasul. :)

I am the servant of the Qur'an as long as I have life. I am the dust on the path of Muhammad, the Chosen One. - Rumi

A Cure for Restlessness

I remember coming back from a road trip few years ago has left me with a sense of restlessness. It's always hard to go from being in absolute adventure, full of new words and people, to something routine. But it's all about perspective. Throwback moment that I had recently brought my thoughts back to when I was lost in the middle of the town. But it's nice, so I stopped and recalled my childhood moments. Because it's the place I grew up in. There's so much of it I've yet to see. My former life, and yet, that little block I'd never registered in my memory. Or maybe, moving away is what it took for me to notice those things. It's as if you have to leave in order to come home and see what's really there. I have a soul that's always longing to wander. I can't stay indoor even for a week, I'm the kind of person that always wants to be somewhere else. However, I'm still in a season of transition, a time of learning, growing and preparation. I'm not sure what for exactly, but I just know that this is a vital time during which is so important for me to be patient and learn what fuels my soul.

So far I've learned the these, cure for restlessness:

• Tea. Even if you have to microwave the water because you don't have a kettle..

• Books. All kinds. All topics. All the books.

• How I Met Your Mother. Or whatever happens to be your TV fix as of late. Every night as you fall asleep.

• Gratitude. And expressing it.

• Writing letters or postcards. The good, old-fashioned, stick a stamp on it, push it through the mail slot kind.

• Water. Lots.

• Music. As often as you can. As loud as plausible. Singing along.

..and anything nice and easy.

The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.
- C. Joybell C.

Absent in our Presence

I have no sense of direction. I'm really poor in geography. I'm consistently 100% wrong when it comes to navigating, I could make a tourist lost. If you ask me where north is, I’ll probably point south. And if we're supposed to turn left, I’ll convince you to turn right. Show me a paper map or teach me how to use compass, my brain wouldn't seem to grasp it. 

But I want to learn and I'm actually grateful for my cell phone because I can always find directions as there's a Map apps. Technology can be a beautiful thing, anyway. We have endless amounts of information at our fingertips. We can ask questions and get answers. Sometimes I think Google is the 8th wonder of the world. We don't have to miss someone as badly because we can watch them document their lives through pictures and videos. And we can inform ourselves on current events and world news.

And I also believe that technology can get in our way. With all of the information at our fingertips, how much are we reading? What are we learning? Are we trying to take it all in? We have less time reading real books, you see. I always ask myself how much time I've spent informing myself about what's going on in the world versus refreshing my social media sites. And lately when I see my cell phone, I see distraction. 

As much as technology adds to our lives, it also takes some away. Like when you're in a room full of  friends and the only people you are talking to are the ones that are not there. Or when you're at a live concert but only view it through the screen of your camera. You're absent in your presence. Technology can get in the way when you spend the whole night documenting what you're doing, instead of actually doing it. When you spend more time letting the world know who you're with rather than just simply being with them. And cell phones can get in the way when you're driving on the road and decide to check that text message. Refresh that news feed, take your eyes off the road, and risk your/other's life just to figure out what someone else is doing.

I plan to start a game that's about being present. It's about putting down your phone, spending time with the people you're with, ignoring that incessant pull to check social media and send out a million text messages, or just to touch random buttons on your phone, ignoring the need to let everyone know what you're doing, reducing your distractions, savoring every bite of your food, rather than seeing how many people 'liked' what you ate. And it's caring more about what you're doing rather than what your facebook friends are doing. The game's about being here in real life with the people you love. Let's play together.

It's time to put our cell phones down, turn them off. Sit and have conversations with friends without distraction. Spend time with your family and hear what they're actually saying. Go outside or stay inside and read a book. Read the newspaper or make some art. Learn a new hobby. I really wanna do things manually without using apps. It's time to start gathering up knowledge and be informed, rather than just opinionated. Stop letting all those little visual and audio notifications interrupt your day. Let's allow ourselves a moment to be where we are. I think we often get so busy trying to capture the moment that we forget to truly experience it. 

For the Brokenhearted Girl

A few weeks ago I received a message from a dear friend who's younger than me and going through a heartbreak. She asked me to write an advice and post it here, she is not a blogger but often reads my blog, which is flattering. So this is the reply I could come up with, I'm not a good adviser, but this is straight from my heart. I hope it'd help you, dear.

Dearest darling,

First of all, a big hug to you. This heartache your feeling is raw, and you're such a tender soul right now. Take a second to breath, and know that you're so loved by so many people. You got that, sis? Okay? Okay. :)

Secondly, oh..boys. And I say boys because I dated someone who sounds crazy similar to your boy, and that's exactly how they behaved, like boys. But we accept it, because we think they'll turn into men sooner than later and the sad part is, sometimes they take years! Or never even grow up. But you can't let him stop your growing because of his own issues. It's hard, because they're boys who don't think like logical men.

This may be the hardest part of all, but I'm telling you this from the side of the heartbroken: cut off all communication. Hide his facebook updates, delete his number from your phone, and try and explain to your friends that  you need to be away from him until you feel better. In my humble opinion, staying friends so fresh after a breakup never, ever works. With my ex, he responded to none of my reaching out to him after the breakup. I found this to be cruel cruel cruel. But, years later, I saw him and thanked him for this time of healing. I thanked him silently. Because he knew that it'd just drag the process out longer. It's like ripping off a band-aid. You either do it slowly and feel every single of pain for each individual piece, or you rip that off quickly and get it over with. I highly recommend the latter.

I also want to point out that when things get serious, it terrifies boys, because they aren't used to feeling such strong emotions. So, to protect themselves, I'm of the opinion that they run from anything to keep themselves from getting hurt. But this is not your fault, nor is it mine. It's just the nature of the beast.

Take some time for you, let him see that if he really wants space, you'll give it to him, and let him see that the pain of losing you isn't worth it. And, if he's still scared, he's not the one for you. You know how the saying goes like, "let it go, if it comes back, it's yours; if not, it never was". I find that to be quite true sometimes. I know you and him have a love that's between you two. It'll always be there. And it'll always be unique to you two. That's the best part about love, there's never the same love twice, so you'll always be in each other's hearts.

I hope this helps a bit, dear friend. I know this is very hard to believe, but your heart will heal. It really will. And you'll be stronger for it. But in the meantime, embrace your emotions. And love, eat, and stay healthy. Take a lavender shower and buy yourself a fantastic new dress or lipstick. One that reminds you every time you see it that you're healing.

So much love to you and don't hesitate if you need to talk! Big hugs!

Make Life Easier for Each Other

Most of us don't want to back off from our favorite thing. We won't even do our second favorite thing. Imagine yourself screwing over entire lanes of traffic because the driver forgot to get in the left lane, so you cut over several lanes to make your turn before the light changes. Don't you think that you just shove your car through everybody's life? 

We have to stop doing things like this to each other sometimes. We're all just going the best we can in life, and our best would be 10 times more awesome if we tried to make the lives of people around us better, because as a result, our lives will be better. If everyone wants everyone else to be okay, then won't we all be okay? So what we can do to make life easier for each other? Here's some tips for me, you and everyone.

1. Don't ever tell anyone they look tired.

2. Help people, and if you offer to help someone, follow through.

3. Be kind to people who work in retail and food service.

4. Let someone know you’re not interested.

5. Actually hang out sometime.

6. Be a little more honest.

7. Stop calling each other mean names on the Internet.

8. Send more letters (not emails or text messaging or whatsapp or bbm, etc) and gifts.

9. Give more genuine compliments.

10. Have more patience while waiting in lines.

The Times You'll Miss

As my time as a student has came to end, I can't help but reflect on the past 4 years while Vitamin C's Graduation plays in my mind. I'm not going to put you through that, but I'd like to share some words of advice for the juniors, wherever, whoever they are. I'm gonna go ahead and get the cliches out of the way first: College flies by. Get involved. Take advantage of the opportunities. Have fun. Study hard. Don't take those years for granted. Be safe. You'll someday look back on this time and miss it. You will. 

Now that those are out of the way (yet, so very true) I'm gonna add a few of my own what-I-wish-I-had-known-while-in-college lessons. 

1. The library has the best resources. Learn how to use them. Yep, I didn't know this until my last semester. They also have subscriptions to some of the raddest, most expensive websites and databases in the world. Explore your hobbies and interests now. You have the best resources to do so.

2. Have dinner with your dorm mates. They're gonna be the ones that you miss the most after your course mates. 

3. Talk to your lecturers. They're people like us too and (most) always there because they really do want to help you learn. And (most) are experts on extremely specific topics. And (most) wanna tell you about what they know. Make appointment, email/text them if you have questions. Know what's worth debating and what's not. 

4. Put down your phones and talk to people around you. After college, you're probably rarely, if ever, going to be around so many people in the same life stage/situation as you. Everyone's there trying to get a degree. We're all on the same playing field, help each other out. Meet people who are interested in your same hobbies. You may never again see people with the same interests on a daily basis. But don't stick to only groups that agree with what you think or like what you like. Explore different groups and make friends with all kinds of people. This is how you learn. 

5. I think this is probably the most important thing I wish I had known: take control of your course, don't let it control you. Choose something that you're really interested in as your major. Don't just follow what your friends choose or what you parents told you so. I wish I had taken different course. I should've been more open to the idea I'd maybe change my mind before deciding on a major. But it doesn't matter anymore. So get them done. Although you're not the smartest in class, be smart anyway. Don't fall into so much drama. Don't waste your time on people who lead you to bad things. 

6. Get off the laptop and go out with your dorm/course mates sometimes. Go to stadium and run. Have a tea time at cafeteria. Go to cinema. Facebook will be around 10 years down the road, but you won't be on campus forever.

I do miss campus more than words could ever express. This is a chapter I long to return to, but life doesn't work that way. All I can do is let those of you going into college or currently in its throws know that this is it. These are times you will miss. Be present. Cherish every single moment. :)

Unrequited

..this one is quite related to the previous post..

Would you ever go after a guy that isn't interested in you? If you would, what would you do to get to know him more and how to talk to him? I'm really awkward while he's really lively.

Stop. Please, for your own sake. Guys who aren't interested in you don't deserve you. That's it. End of story. Why torture yourself over someone who doesn't appreciate all the things you have to offer? When it happens, with a person, it happens. You know. You fit. You both work for it.

If a guy didn't realize it, well maybe he may at one point "get it" but, it's not your job to wait. Do your thing. Be the best person you can be for yourself. 

Be his friend, be yourself. At the end of the day, that's all you can do. 

Love will Come Eventually

Remember I posted this: We all Start as Strangers? I mentioned about heartbreak there. So let's talk about it. Well, I'd rather slay dragons on any day than have to deal with heartbreak. Heartbreak is the pits. And I've had some trepidation about whether or not to blog about my old heartaches. Because one weird thing about blogs, it's all archived. So even whenever you try and move along, you catch yourself peeking back at those moments. Being brave is something you admire in others and long to be yourself. But it's not that I ain't moving on, of course I've moved on. I'm happier now. This is just a little sharing that might be useful for some of you.

  

So here it goes, young loves.

Long before I met my true love, I dated someone else. He was decent and kind and we had a blast together. I came to really care about him. I loved our times together and I simply adored his family. Honestly, I still respect his family. But then it happens. You know, you drift apart and you realize your lives are headed in remarkably different directions. As much as it breaks your heart and makes you dizzy all at once, you try and accept it's for the best.

But then again, holy guacamole, I had some rough days trying to believe it's for the best. Breakups are flipping weird, ya'll. You go from being best friends with a person to absolutely never speaking again. How does that even make sense? I guess it doesn't. But who ever said love made sense? And in my case, it wasn't even love after all. I must say that as much as it hurt, it was kind of a fresh start, of sorts. 

To my surprise, I got into a new groove. I came out from under my duvet to find the same beautiful world that had always been there, with or without boyfriend. I began to grow and learn so much about myself. And eventually, I met Ifo. :) 

And up until now I learn to accept some things:

• when someone shows you who they are, believe them the 1st time.
• your friends see through a lot of crap.
• don't become a doormat. People love a good doormat.
• respect (yourself, others, just as much as others should respect you).
• you can still care about him at times, but as the ever so wise Elizabeth Gilbert put it, "so miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it." 
• love will come, but don't rush it.
• because it's on its way, waiting to arrive at the most perfect of times.
• just because you broke up, it doesn't make the happiness you had with the person any less real. That happiness was so real.
• never allow your heart to refuse love. Love helps you heal and somebody loves you. Allah loves you. 

Look At the Stars

My former teacher used to say: "When tough times come, look at the sky. See how big this world is and remember how many people living in it, they all have problems too and some of the problems are much bigger than yours. Then pray and ask help from Allah".

*Yellow by Coldplay is playing*

How to Tell

Somebody loves you if they don't mind the quiet. They don't mind running errands with you or doing their work while you blasting some annoying music. There's no pressure, no need to fill the silences. 

You know how with some of your friends there needs to be some sort of activity for you to hang out? You don't feel comfortable just shooting the shit and watching bad reality TV with them. You need something that will keep the both of you busy to ensure there won't be a void. That's not love. That's "hey, I like you okay. Do you wanna grab lunch? I think we have enough to talk about to fill 2 hours!" 

It's a damn dream when you find someone you can do nothing with. Whether you're skydiving together or sitting at home and doing different things, it's always comfortable. That is love.

Twenty Something

When I was 13, I couldn't wait to be 18. I thought I'd know it all by then, have all the answers and that prized freedom. And when I was 16, I planned to be married by age 24..lol. I'll always smile to myself when I think about how time changes things. And when I turned 20 I made a list of as many goals as I had in years. By my 23rd birthday, I've accomplished half of them. And a funny thing will happen about the time you turn 23. People start asking about marriage and job. You begin to worry about savings, health, house, car and everything. And sometimes you start to compare your 23 years with everyone else's. You wonder if you're on the right track because it's different from all the people you're surrounded by. You start going to your friends' weddings and buying baby gifts for birthdays. And suddenly you realize you're at the exact age that seemed so far away just 5 years ago.

I’ve always liked including myself in the 20 something category. Growing up, but not quite grown up. You're an adult, but still recognize that you're part kid, you know. I've enjoyed the navigating of adulthood and all of my new first time experiences. A job. My 1st paycheck. Being old enough to travel. But it seems like the older I've gotten, the more aware I've become of my short-lived stay in the '20s' and the pressure to fit the mold of all of the rest of the 'twenthirders'. I've started to think about how easy it is to become controlled by our age. And the expectation of what your age signifies to everyone else..how old you should be by the time you graduate, buy your 1st house, get married, have kids, etc. Suddenly it seems like there are all these benchmarks to meet, even when they don't match the goals you're trying to reach.

Forget molds. Because as easy it is to forget, you're free to do what you want with your life. The problem is, that can be quite the responsibility, to live your life the way you want to, rather than the way you're expected to. Especially if that means taking a big jump. And especially when that jump may feel like a free fall. Maybe quit your 1st job and go back to college continuing study if that feels right. Maybe get married or don't. Maybe you change your mind, end a relationship that no longer serves you. Become a different person. Maybe you move away or move back home. Or maybe you're scared to do these things because it's uncomfortable and unexpected. Maybe it's because you don't know if everything would fall into place or you're scared what that would mean if it did.

Dear teenagers, when you're in your 20s, I hope you buy a flight ticket to other countries. I hope you get lost wandering all of the streets. I hope you travel the world and read lots of books. I hope you have interesting conversations over warm cups of tea. I hope you set goals and change them. Write a book. Change your mind. Start new friendships and let go of the ones that you need to. Say goodbye to all of the things that have kept you stagnant and vow to keep moving forward. I hope you stay up all night laughing with your friends. And when you're 30, learn something new. I hope your life is one of wisdom and youth, adventure and old age, no matter what year it was that you were born. And then it goes on.

But what I really mean to say is that I hope you aren't held back because of a number, that you don't rush into things because it feels like time is slipping by. Do what's right for you.  Hold on, slow down, and breathe in. Your age is your age. But more importantly, your life is your life. Don't change your journey so that it matches someone else's. We need to walk different paths so the whole world can be explored. Revel in the differences and enjoy where you are. :)

Comparison Kills

We All Start as Strangers

A few weeks ago when I was thinking about love I came to the conclusion that somehow someday someone would walk in to our life and make us realize why it never worked with anyone else. That someone has walked into my life 5 years ago and I still couldn't be happier.

I've found someone who made all heartbreaks finally worth it. He's everything I believed in and everything I knew I would find. He pushes me in the right direction, and what's even more amazing is that just like I hoped, he supports my dreams and makes me feel like I can do anything in the world. I guess the reason for this post is because right up until I met him a small part of me had lost hope.

We are all guilty of it, but I want anyone who feels like giving up right now to know that hope keeps our belief alive and so you must never let it go. Even when you feel more alone than usual you must remain strong and know that great things really do come when you least expect it, and not just in relationships, in anything; work, family, friends, etc.

You have to keep your mind focused and your heart strong and not let anything get in the way of what you deserve. Everybody deserves to be loved but what really matters is that you love yourself first. You have to know how to make yourself happy before anything because at the end of the day it's your happiness that counts and it's finding someone to share that happiness with that's important not finding someone to fix it.

Work on yourself first and the rest will fall in to place. Don't give up on love and never give up on yourself. Stay hopeful and keep believing.

Not Guilty

Things you do not have to feel guilty about:

Saying no sometimes.

Wanting to be alone sometimes.

Saying no to sex.

Not being sure about your life career.

Deciding to study instead of going out.

Getting rid of the toxic people in your life.

Ending a relationship that is hurting you.

Not liking the things everyone else likes.