Moving On Without Letting Go

My contract as a substitute teacher has come to an end. It was a bittersweet farewell.

Letting go of people and places I love has never been easy for me. In fact, it's always been one of my biggest challenges. I've just never understood how you're supposed to be able to say goodbye to someplace or someone you love or have loved with every piece of yourself. I know, of course, that it isn't possible to hold on to everything you've ever cared about, but that's never quite stopped me from trying. 

It's just that I tend to think of my life in chapters and it isn't as if you keep reading and just forget what happened on the previous page. No. You hold on to every important character and setting from the beginning of the story because you just know that in some later chapter there'll be some epiphany and you'll better understand their significance. You never forget about those first people or moments because they're the undercurrent of everything to come. 

So maybe it's not really about "letting go" at all. Maybe it's about acknowledging who, what and where you've loved and appreciating that they've led you to the page you're on now. Maybe it's not about forgetting, but about letting those people and places nestle themselves in some corner of your heart so that down the line, when you encounter that climactic scene that gives meaning to the entire story, you can smile to yourself as you realize that it's them who brought you here, to this place, to this person you've become. 

The school..it's the same school I went in 2003 until 2007. As someone who gets, well, more than a little nostalgic for the places I love, I've kept my distance from it since college. That school's at the center of so many of my most special memories, and I thought it'd be best to rip off the band-aid and never look back. A quick, clean goodbye. Turns out, that wasn't the case. I returned as a teacher and I got attached again. 

How refreshing, and what a relief, not to ache for what you used to have and where you used to be. It's taken me a long, long time to learn that you don't have to miss something to make it mean something. A place or a person can be important to you without pining for it, and moving on, it doesn't have to be dismissive. There are different shades of letting go. 

I miss my students and fellow teachers. Thanks for the memories. See you again next time!

Perfect, Sweet-Filled Birthday

3rd October 2014 was my 24th birthday. And, inevitably, I find myself considering where I am, where I've been..whether I'm who I expected to be at this age, whether I'm doing what I expected to do. Truth is: I am and I'm not. Some things have fallen right into place, right where I always imagined they would. Other things, though, have been surprises. Good and bad ones. But all of it, I'm very happy to say, feels right. As if it's inevitable. Certain, in the most wonderful of ways. And if I have one wish for 24, it'll be holding on to that. The feeling that everything, even the unexpected, is just as it should be.

When asked how I wanted to spend my birthday, I said I just wanted to spend it with the ones I love. Just like in the past. I didn't expect any cakes, gifts or celebration. But actually that's what I really got.....

After having a movie night (Anabelle..stupid creepy doll) and sleepover (it's been soooooo long since high school) with my girls (Farah and Jana) at Farah's place, Ifo took me out for a date on my birthday. It's a simple, lovely date; just me and him, watching Dracula Untold (awesome movie!), eating pizza, talking and talking and laughing. And hey, I got new books! If I stay and Where She Went, both by Gayle Forman. 

Two days after my birthday, we went out again, with other friends this time. It was raining heavily outside and I thought that something hot or soupy would be nice, so I suggested to eat at Natural Kitchen. But Ifo insisted to go to Secret Recipe, so we did. When we got there, Selvin and Russel were already waiting at the table. They hadn't ordered anything but plain water. Then Ifo excused himself to call Jasper outside, so we waited for them while browsing the menus. 

Few minutes later, Ifo and the rest appeared at the stairs; Ifo (playing ukulele), Desmond (holding a cake), Jasper, Mark and Carol. They're all singing out loud a Happy Birthday song, clapping..and I was....oh my God, I was so speechless, so surprised..I didn't know what to say. I just laughed and felt touched and ashamed at the same time. Touched, because I didn't expect any of those and it's been so long since I had that kind of surprise celebration..embarrassed, because everybody in the restaurant was looking at me and clapping along. Suddenly I became the centre of attention. Lol. It was all Ifo's idea..he'd been planning everything for almost a week, he brought The Baks and Wonder Women (girls group consisting me, Carol, Nelly, Fytt and Etha, but only Carol available that day) together as a team to celebrate my birthday. How nice! They even made a secret group chat to discuss the whole things. 

It was so sweet and wonderful. Thank you, everyone..thank you so much for surprising me good, I owe you guys a big time. I'm so grateful to have you guys in my life. And darling Ifo, I can't thank you enough..I love you. :)

post-sleepover

I'm a happy birthday girl

the cake was awesome

my sweethearts

I love you ^^

Hopeless Nostlagic

Nostalgia is my favorite pastime. I was born in 1990, which I'm glad of. I've always loved the era of 90's. I miss it. I get nostalgic about my childhood, about old family vacations, but most of all about an era I didn't belong to. I am in love with the 80's and 70's as well. To me it was the perfect time for literature, fashion and art. Don't you just love old movies like The Breakfast Club, Grease, Ghost, Pretty Woman, Ghostbusters, etc..?

So for me, even if I was born in 70's then I would have wished for an earlier time too. It's a never-ending cycle for those with a nostalgic heart, I guess. I also understood that for me it's more about the longing, the desire for something I can't have than the actual time. Would I really want to live in a time before all the modern day luxuries we're lucky to have? Before Twitter, smartphones, Instagram, and even temperature setting kettles? Would you? Sure the idea's romantic and beautiful but I do love the day and age we live in now. We're able to connect with people from anywhere in the world and we can even learn how to make pizza on YouTube. Women are closer to equality than ever before and we have the choice to do anything our heart desires.

I love memories almost as much as I love making them. There's just something so satisfying and so enlightening about rehashing, remembering, or rewriting a shared story. Sometimes all you can do is hold on to little bits of sanity here and there. Sometimes when you find yourself wading through a gray area, the best thing you can manage is to find clarity in any small way you can. Like, in the simple satisfaction of vacuuming, or in the fresh scent of clean laundry, or in the sweeping sense of black-and-white that comes from digging out old stuff. So I was digging out some old stuff and these are some of the things that I've found:

.

Cassettes.
My sisters were huge fans of love songs and boy bands, so they had a lot of cassettes, posters and lyrics. When they got busy pursuing studies and getting jobs, I took everything and I started to listen all the boy bands and totally fell in love with KRU, 911, 'N Sync, Bakcstreet Boys, A1, Five, and others. I was also a big fan of Britney Spears. My sister gave me Britney Spears' posters and recorded music videos in a CD on my birthday. I watched the videos everyday, sang and danced alone. Lol. We used to have many cassettes but I don't know where's the rest.

A horror movie tape.
Sundel Bolong Suzanna is Indonesian vampire film (1981) and was the scariest movie when I was a kid. I don't quite remember the story but maybe if I'm gonna watch it now, I'd think the vampire's lame. As if we still had the VCR player. Lol. We had many tapes back then, most of them were the recorded series of Dragon Ball. I remember watching Dragon Ball every Saturday/Sunday in the morning with my brother, we sat really close to the television while eating cereals. 

Old watches.
These are the watches from 80's and 90's belonged to my mom and sister, worn out and not ticking anymore, of course. Well, I collected things so I kept them in a box..then I forgot that I had them. Now I've got them back and I'm thinking of repairing them, if repairable. They're still pretty, right? Vintage. And they're Rolex. ;)

Best Days of Our Lives Haven’t Happened Yet

Someday I will host dinner parties and you will always be invited. We'll eat lovely food and perhaps the first time I'll try and have a hand at cooking a real big meal. If it doesn't work so well, the next time I'll just have something ordered-in. But nevertheless, food will be plenty and drinks will be flowing. 

We'll come together and every single time the conversation will start with something along the lines of, "where does the time go? It seems just like yesterday..." and for a moment we'll all sigh and smile at that truth, and the fact it'll be mentioned, just the same, at our next dinner party. We'll then talk of our lives. We'll share in roars of laughter and bicker about politics and how some of us still listen to Taylor Swift..but only because our quirks and differences are what we truly love about one another. We'll reminisce about all the memories we share and chuckle at our past selves.

"How could we have been so silly?" we'll say.

"We worried about so many unnecessary things!" we'll all agree.

We'll laugh until we cry and cry until we laugh. We'll find ourselves chatting on and on about how our loves drive us bonkers but we all will smile at one another, knowing that none of us would trade them for anything. We will then joke and point out our most embarrassing moments and then we'll sigh and say in unison, "how did we get through all of that?" And we'll not say it aloud, but in our hearts we will think, "it was crazy, exhausting and one of the most confusing times of our lives but we wouldn't change it for the world."

"Not one bit," we will silently repeat.

Someday.

Light as Air

Recently, life has been a bit of a whirlwind. A good whirlwind, to be sure, but a whirlwind nonetheless. Last weekend left me calm and rejuvenated. Refreshed. Outdoor brunch, an all-day barbecue at the river, hangout at playground, and friends who bring out my truest self. We faced the sun and ate barbecued chickens and ate pickles and welcomed life with open arms. And something within or above or around me lifted, loosened, so that now I'm feeling light as air.

It's the new weekend and life is good, you know? Life is just so damn good.

our picnic spot

Kibambangan River

dipping in cold river

glad to have him 

brothers

the chefs

Well, I know it's the month of love. But I'm not a valentine's day person because I'm not celebrating it, but everyone can celebrate love anytime. Let's celebrate all kinds of love everyday, shall we? Romantic love, yes, but also friendship and the love of our families, our acquaintances, our old loves and new loves, puppy loves and forever loves. The love of words, of sunshine, of fresh flowers sitting on the windowsill. And let's not forget to show love, too, to those we care about and also to ourselves. Also, let us not forget self-love.

And thank you so much for all the love you've shown this little blog over the years.

Have a blast weekend. ^^

Time Won't Wait

It's kind of dichotomous, you know? Celebrating life and mourning death. The excitement of being together with family and friends contrasted with sadness for the circumstances that brought us there. It's been 50 days since my grandmother passed away, but the funeral day's still fresh in my mind. Although we were gathered because of her death, I realized that we're actually all there because of her life.

When's the last time you told your family/friends/lovers that you love them? Death taught me to say it now. And to say it the way you mean it with every ounce of love. It showed me how to be appreciative of someone else's time. To express a grateful heart before the moment escapes me. To stay curious. 

The thing about death is that it makes you think about how you're living, the legacy people have created with all that they leave behind, how you've spent time. And I wonder about how many times I've let an opportunity passed by to tell someone how much they mean to me while they're there, right there. I also think back how many phone calls I didn't make or pick up, the questions I didn't ask and the stories I never heard. And how many chances I've blown that one day I hope to get back. But the thing about time is that you can't go back. Just forward.  

Here's to no longer keeping things off for tomorrow. Because all we really have is today.

Do it now. Say it now. Be it now.

A Cure for Restlessness

I remember coming back from a road trip few years ago has left me with a sense of restlessness. It's always hard to go from being in absolute adventure, full of new words and people, to something routine. But it's all about perspective. Throwback moment that I had recently brought my thoughts back to when I was lost in the middle of the town. But it's nice, so I stopped and recalled my childhood moments. Because it's the place I grew up in. There's so much of it I've yet to see. My former life, and yet, that little block I'd never registered in my memory. Or maybe, moving away is what it took for me to notice those things. It's as if you have to leave in order to come home and see what's really there. I have a soul that's always longing to wander. I can't stay indoor even for a week, I'm the kind of person that always wants to be somewhere else. However, I'm still in a season of transition, a time of learning, growing and preparation. I'm not sure what for exactly, but I just know that this is a vital time during which is so important for me to be patient and learn what fuels my soul.

So far I've learned the these, cure for restlessness:

• Tea. Even if you have to microwave the water because you don't have a kettle..

• Books. All kinds. All topics. All the books.

• How I Met Your Mother. Or whatever happens to be your TV fix as of late. Every night as you fall asleep.

• Gratitude. And expressing it.

• Writing letters or postcards. The good, old-fashioned, stick a stamp on it, push it through the mail slot kind.

• Water. Lots.

• Music. As often as you can. As loud as plausible. Singing along.

..and anything nice and easy.

The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.
- C. Joybell C.

Invictus: Tribute to Mandela

The comic is a tribute to Nelson Mandela and it's his favorite poem by William Ernest Henley, called Invictus. So, about the comic, the photograph he's looking at is of himself with his eldest son, Madiba Thembekile, who's killed in a car crash. Mandela wasn't allowed to attend the funeral or even find out information about the accident. Over the years, because of the way Mandela carried himself, he gained respect and friendship of some of his guards. Not only did Mandela endure 27 years of imprisonment with dignity, determination and strength, but he also chose to forgive the people who wronged him. That, in my opinion, is his most impressive accomplishment. RIP Nelson Mandela.

The Times You'll Miss

As my time as a student has came to end, I can't help but reflect on the past 4 years while Vitamin C's Graduation plays in my mind. I'm not going to put you through that, but I'd like to share some words of advice for the juniors, wherever, whoever they are. I'm gonna go ahead and get the cliches out of the way first: College flies by. Get involved. Take advantage of the opportunities. Have fun. Study hard. Don't take those years for granted. Be safe. You'll someday look back on this time and miss it. You will. 

Now that those are out of the way (yet, so very true) I'm gonna add a few of my own what-I-wish-I-had-known-while-in-college lessons. 

1. The library has the best resources. Learn how to use them. Yep, I didn't know this until my last semester. They also have subscriptions to some of the raddest, most expensive websites and databases in the world. Explore your hobbies and interests now. You have the best resources to do so.

2. Have dinner with your dorm mates. They're gonna be the ones that you miss the most after your course mates. 

3. Talk to your lecturers. They're people like us too and (most) always there because they really do want to help you learn. And (most) are experts on extremely specific topics. And (most) wanna tell you about what they know. Make appointment, email/text them if you have questions. Know what's worth debating and what's not. 

4. Put down your phones and talk to people around you. After college, you're probably rarely, if ever, going to be around so many people in the same life stage/situation as you. Everyone's there trying to get a degree. We're all on the same playing field, help each other out. Meet people who are interested in your same hobbies. You may never again see people with the same interests on a daily basis. But don't stick to only groups that agree with what you think or like what you like. Explore different groups and make friends with all kinds of people. This is how you learn. 

5. I think this is probably the most important thing I wish I had known: take control of your course, don't let it control you. Choose something that you're really interested in as your major. Don't just follow what your friends choose or what you parents told you so. I wish I had taken different course. I should've been more open to the idea I'd maybe change my mind before deciding on a major. But it doesn't matter anymore. So get them done. Although you're not the smartest in class, be smart anyway. Don't fall into so much drama. Don't waste your time on people who lead you to bad things. 

6. Get off the laptop and go out with your dorm/course mates sometimes. Go to stadium and run. Have a tea time at cafeteria. Go to cinema. Facebook will be around 10 years down the road, but you won't be on campus forever.

I do miss campus more than words could ever express. This is a chapter I long to return to, but life doesn't work that way. All I can do is let those of you going into college or currently in its throws know that this is it. These are times you will miss. Be present. Cherish every single moment. :)

Love will Come Eventually

Remember I posted this: We all Start as Strangers? I mentioned about heartbreak there. So let's talk about it. Well, I'd rather slay dragons on any day than have to deal with heartbreak. Heartbreak is the pits. And I've had some trepidation about whether or not to blog about my old heartaches. Because one weird thing about blogs, it's all archived. So even whenever you try and move along, you catch yourself peeking back at those moments. Being brave is something you admire in others and long to be yourself. But it's not that I ain't moving on, of course I've moved on. I'm happier now. This is just a little sharing that might be useful for some of you.

  

So here it goes, young loves.

Long before I met my true love, I dated someone else. He was decent and kind and we had a blast together. I came to really care about him. I loved our times together and I simply adored his family. Honestly, I still respect his family. But then it happens. You know, you drift apart and you realize your lives are headed in remarkably different directions. As much as it breaks your heart and makes you dizzy all at once, you try and accept it's for the best.

But then again, holy guacamole, I had some rough days trying to believe it's for the best. Breakups are flipping weird, ya'll. You go from being best friends with a person to absolutely never speaking again. How does that even make sense? I guess it doesn't. But who ever said love made sense? And in my case, it wasn't even love after all. I must say that as much as it hurt, it was kind of a fresh start, of sorts. 

To my surprise, I got into a new groove. I came out from under my duvet to find the same beautiful world that had always been there, with or without boyfriend. I began to grow and learn so much about myself. And eventually, I met Ifo. :) 

And up until now I learn to accept some things:

• when someone shows you who they are, believe them the 1st time.
• your friends see through a lot of crap.
• don't become a doormat. People love a good doormat.
• respect (yourself, others, just as much as others should respect you).
• you can still care about him at times, but as the ever so wise Elizabeth Gilbert put it, "so miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it." 
• love will come, but don't rush it.
• because it's on its way, waiting to arrive at the most perfect of times.
• just because you broke up, it doesn't make the happiness you had with the person any less real. That happiness was so real.
• never allow your heart to refuse love. Love helps you heal and somebody loves you. Allah loves you. 

Most Memorable Photo

My favorite and most memorable photo that I've taken:

It was during a 5-day holiday trip to Manila, Philippines with my friends. We went to Manila Ocean Park on 2nd day and among all attractions, Jellies: The Dancing Sea Fairies was my favorite. Yes, they're real transparent jellyfishes that dance like fairies.

It's not like there's a lot of amazing stunts you can see. Their dancing was more like a slow waltz rather than hiphop dancing, for example. The changing colors of lights in the tanks made me feel magical as those jellies amazed me with their serene floating. I didn't even read the names of each jelly type because I was too mesmerized, it's like I was hypnotized by those sea fairies. I could spend a whole just watching them, honestly. And it's also one of the best times in my life. Travelling to a foreign country for the 1st time with my buddies was really great. We had so much fun. ^^

To be One with Nature

Me and The Baks were supposed to have a trip to Kundasang on last Tuesday. But something came up so we had to cancel it. Yet it didn't stop right there because we had another plan, like always. Well that's how we roll, we won't let the day goes by without any interesting stuff to do as we got our hopes up to have fun. So on that Tuesday, we were going on an awesome picnic at Kibambangan Water Park, just a small place in Penampang. As small as it is,  it's beautiful and such a joy to be one with nature, to listen to the sounds of flowing river, insects and birds chirping in the nearby woods and feel the cold, refreshing water to dip in. It's such a bliss and ideal way to escape concrete jungle. It's quite an adventure to get there actually as the place is located in deep rural area of Penampang, the road is hilly, and when we got there, we had to cross a swinging bridge. Much fun!

So we brought along some food and stuff; tuna sandwiches, marinated chicken wings, snacks, sausages, rice, drinks, BBQ set, mats, etc. Luckily it's a weekday and the place's empty, we easily found a perfect spot for our picnic, just right at the riverbank. While the guys were dipping in the river, other friends and I barbecued the marinated chicken wings and sausages. We really loved the chicken wings. Honestly it's the best BBQ chicken I ever ate. I don't know why, but maybe the marinating time was long enough for the chickens to absorb all ingredients. We never thought that a cheap BBQ sauce that I picked could do wonders. I can take credits, right? Lol. 

I didn't miss the chance to get down in the river, sit on rocks and soak my feet. It's cold but I liked it. I also helped out my friend, Jasper, to design a pool by rearranging the rocks and building dam. Then it started drizzling. When the sky's getting darker and the rain kept pouring, we moved our things into huts, except the grill as we can't move the burning charcoals. So they took a wooden table from the hut and made it as shelter for the grill. Despite the crazy weather, we still had so much fun munching away happily on our food, listening to music, singing and chatting while waiting for the rain to stop. But it didn't stop. As it rained heavily, the river flowed faster and water level got higher. It's frightening. You could die if you fell into it. 

It was still raining when we packed up things and went back. Crossing the wet swinging bridge while the stream ran fast beneath really scared the hell out of me. Well, it's a wonderful day and we're surely gonna do it again next time. ^^

Ifo and Naszreen were starting the charcoal fire

Bon appetit!

Teamwork

From left: Naszreen, Jasper and me

Rock pool.

Behind the scene

Me and Russel took the initial shift to burn the chickens

We had fun ^^

Eid Throwback

Hey, I'm back with a little recap! It's been a week now since 1st Syawal and a lot of wonderful things have happened. Praise to Allah for these gifts; my family and friends. Aidilfitri would be less meaningful without them. 

On the 1st day of Syawal, I was wearing a pair of baju kurung made of 3d digital flower printed fabric. They're basically light blue and pink, and there were some faux diamonds on them. So that's my favorite raya costume this year. After having prayers and visiting cemetery, we headed off to Kg Pimping, my dad's village, to meet our relatives. It's great to meet my cousins. You know, it's not easy to gather with them all and hari raya is the only perfect time to do it. On the next day, we made an open house and invited relatives and friends to come over. The Baks and Ifo's parents came too. ^^ 

I also got to go out with my best friends, visited their houses and met my former teacher. It's the good old days all over again! And the days went on and I really had a great time!

That is my cousin.

Family photo. It's incomplete, my 2nd sister and her kids weren't there

Oh you know this one :p

Aemy and The Baks Eid version

With friends. Screw the camera. 

Dear Cory

The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and always will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come. 



When I look at you, I see your beauty and grace and know they have grown stronger with every life you have lived. And I know I have spent every life before this on searching for you. Not someone like you, but you, for your soul and mine must always come together. And then, for a reason neither of us understand, we've been forced to say goodbye.

 

I would love to tell you that everything will work out for us, and I promise to do all I can to make sure it does. But if we never meet again and this is truly goodbye, I know we will see each other again, and maybe the stars will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that time, but for all the times we've had before.

— Nicholas Sparks

The beautiful words above are taken from The Notebook novel by Nicholas Sparks. I've always loved it. When I read it back, my mind somehow drifts to Cory Monteith. All Gleeks were mourning him and crying so hard, I guess we still are, well at least I still am. My excitement for Glee 5 has all gone because it doesn't feel right to be excited for it anymore. Watching Finn Hudson on tv and knowing that he's dead would be a devastation. It won't be the same.

Dear Cory, I'll probably never meet you and never be able to thank you for the moments that you made us happy even if you don’t know it. Of course I never will. The love of a fan is funny, you know. When you think you could not love so intensely someone that you barely know, sometimes life just sweep you off your feet and you find yourself loving them more. Thank you for the smiles you put on our face. Thank you for soothing us with your amazing voice. For all the friends I've made around the world. There once was a tall, awkward Canadian with a crooked smile that came in this world with the mission of bringing happiness to the people that surround him. 

Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone. I miss you, Cory. 

be strong, Lea

Conquering the Bald Hill

Bald Hill, Sepangar, Sabah

Me and The Baks went out as a team again yesterday to hike and conquer the Bald Hill Sepangar, which is also known by the locals as Bukit Botak or Bukit Gundul. All this time, I could only see the hill from car window, now I know that it's conquerable and we made it! It's a beautiful green hill with bald top (no trees) that you'd notice if you're in Sepangar area. As it's a unique hill, I was on cloud 9 when they set up a plan to hike there. 

There are 2 starting points to climb Bald Hill, one from UiTM, another from a construction site next to MARDI (the one that we used). We started hiking around 10 am which was quite late already as the scorching sun was rising high. To get to the peak of the hill, we had to go through deep jungle, climb and cross a valley. It's really challenging for a first-timer like me. Okay, to be more specific, we're all first-timers, none of us had ever climbed it before and we took the challenge without any guides. So we just followed the existing trail, that's almost covered by bushes and long grass, with our instincts. 

take 2

beautiful woods

feel like rangers :p

almost there

We reached the Bald Hill peak after an hour. Subhanallah, it's so beautiful! We're amazed by the mesmerizing view from up there and despite the hot sun, the breeze was soothing. We can see the UMS, sea of Sepangar Bay, islands, navy base, and the whole KK city! They could even see their houses! Lol. And yes, at the highest peak, it's really bald, no bushes or trees, except a lone bamboo tree, Sabah flag and long grass. We just sat there, took pictures, relaxed and ate some foods that we brought along to fuel up while enjoying our beautiful land of Sabah. 

The journey of going down was another story. I never thought that going down could be more challenging than going up. Because of tiredness and less focus (we talked a lot) while climbing, we got lost twice. Not leaving marks was a mistake, and we didn't see the trail clearly. The situation reminded me of "The Road Not Taken" but there's no time to joke about it. It took them quite a while to figure out the correct trail. I didn't help at all as I was too tired to think, but of course I was worried if we stuck there forever. It's gonna rain and we must go down before dark. Alhamdulillah, we found the trail anyway. But then, my legs were too tired to deal with the steepness. I made a wrong step, tripped and fell to the ground. Man, it hurt. My doctor-to-be friend checked my ankle if it's broken. Thank God it's fine. I fought the pain and forced myself to continue the journey. Going down was agony. 

Well, we returned safely. Despite the wrong turn, clumsy step and fatigue, we had so much fun. Honestly, it's worth our time. It's a great adventure and surely we'll climb again next time with complete preparation. Heeee.. 

we made it

at the summit

just resting

hey KK

another great day with them