Always Betting on You

As you might already know, Paramore has released a Selt-Titled Deluxe album recently and I'm truly psyched about it! I dropped by at Hayley's blog just now and read one of her entries. Well, as a fan, I sort of cried reading it..I don't know, it's like she wrote me a letter. Hahah. Here it is:

Hiiiiii….

Embarrassingly, it’s been a little while since the last time I did any sort of bloggin’ whatsoever. Now, I find myself near the very end of a long year having said nearly nothing about it! What a year it’s been for Paramore. Taylor and Jeremy and I are so thankful, so exhausted, and so satisfied. Thinking back on everything from The Self Titled Tour in OZ to launching “Ain’t It Fun” on one of the biggest pop stations in the country, to Parahoy and Monumentour… I just don’t know that there’s been another year in our career that has felt both this sentimental (like show #2 on the cruise) AND this triumphant (like having our first top 10 single at top 40 radio) all at the same time. It just keeps getting better, you guys.

2014 really changed me in a lot of ways. I guess it’s one reason I kept away from blogging and sharing as much as I usually feel inclined to. I grew up a lot and the process wasn’t really expected, nor was it always fun. Since the top of the year, I’ve gone through a “break-up”, a “make-up” (YAYWOOHOOO!), had a really promising hair-dye business opportunity completely fall through, got sick a TON of times on Monumentour and had to cancel shows, and just got plain tired. Well, we all did! Oh, I also got a dog (YAYWOOHOO!). The reason I’m saying all this is to show you that even when things look simple or wonderful on the surface, there’s always a battle to be fought. Don’t let it stop you from getting where you want to be. It’s not about where you think you should be, or even where you think you deserve to be. Where do you want to be? 

I’m so eternally 100% absolutely ridiculously grateful for people like you who have given my life, as well as Jeremy’s and Taylor’s, a major purpose. We are constantly learning along with you. Existing along with you. Singing along with you. But more than that we are always FOR you. This is so cheesy, omg… but you can’t water down the truth and when you do, it loses all its power.

I hope that, at the end of this year, you realize how the hard times made you. I hope for you that you allowed those times to make you better. I would bet that you’re better. 

You already know about this but, to bid 2014 goodbye, we’re leaving you with a re-release of our Self-Titled album. The re-release includes tracks from our favorite show on Monumentour, which took place at Red Rocks in Colorado. We didn’t originally intend to ever do anything with the recordings. It wasn’t planned. We just loved the show so much and felt it embodied the rawness and the fun that we had with you over the summer. The songs we chose to include from that show are mostly ones that weren’t on The Final Riot (save for “LTFB”, which we just HAD to have since we played that and “Part ll” back to back!). These recordings are un-touched and though they’re not perfect, we are psyched that we caught it on a recording because it was so special for us.

The re-release also has ALL 3 B-sides! Maybe you’ve already heard “Escape Route” and “Native Tongue” but there is noooo way you’ve ever had the pleasure of “Tell Me It’s Okay”. It’s such a cool song. I’m so happy we finally found a home for it. For whatever reason, at the time, it just didn’t fit the album. We never even finished recording it! This is the scratch demo that we recorded all in one take while Ilan was tracking drums at Sunset Sound. I later added some harmonies, Taylor threw an extra guitar bit here and there, and that’s pretty much it! The lyrics were always important to me and very true to that particular time in our band’s life. Maybe I’m giving too much away here but… it IS okay to be happy NOW. 

Lastly, there’s the duet I did with Joy Williams (formerly of The Civil Wars) on “Hate To See Your Heart Break”. We recorded our vocals (to the original track) in Santa Monica, CA about a week after the Monumentour ended. Joy has been a friend and a mentor of mine since I was just 12 years old. I met her, by fate, about a month into moving to Franklin, TN. She was on her own musical journey and I was chomping at the bit to start my own… (little did I know I would meet the guys like 6 months later). Joy has been an incredible example of strength, perseverance, faith, and grace throughout all the years that I’ve known her. I always wanted to be able to sing like her and being able to duet with her actually felt like an amazing tribute to the inspiration she’s given me. Taylor and his family are also close with Joy and he is actually the one who brought up having her on the song. It’s the first time we’ve ever collaborated with anyone as a band and we’re all really really proud we were able to invite someone into Paramore’s world who completely understands multiple aspects of who we are. Whether you’re a Paramore fan, a Civil Wars fan, or you just like pretty songs… This one will satisfy, I swear! 

Alright, this is long. I’ve typed for DAYS. My fingers hurt. I’m a little rusty! I won’t take any more of your time, except for to say this: we love you and we can’t wait for what’s next.

Always always always betting on you, 

Hayley

*shedding tears*

Now I leave you with 2 of Paramore's songs from Self-Titled Deluxe.

Music and Memory

I've always been a music person. I mean, I'm not a musician but I really love music. Everyone's a music person, of course, but there have been phases of my life when music seemed to take center stage, when I listened to it so often that silence felt rare and sort of strange. When I listened to it so often that I found myself thinking in verse, bridge, chorus. Sometimes I feel that every moment deserves its own song, its own lyrics, and still those memories are backed by their own soundtrack in my mind.

Estrella - "Stay"

The night he texted me for the first time and I went all giddy.

Keane - "Somewhere Only We Know"

It was midnight, the windows were down and the air was warm. I wore his sweater that smelled like popcorn and couldn't understand why some things ever needed to change.

Stairway To Heaven OST - "Na Man Eh Nuh"

I sat on a bench looking at the sea, missing old friends. Feeling hopeful. It's the first instrumental song I ever really loved, the one that taught me that words can't say everything. Not even close. 

Britney Spears - "Sometimes"

Best friends, unhealthy snacks, girl-talk, and nothing else mattered.

Snow Patrol - "Chasing Cars"

I nervously drove his car and decided everything would be all right.

Plain White T's - "Rhythm of Love"

Manila, picnics, movies and simple hangouts..the time in my life when I felt most fearless, most daring. I laughed and wrote about it and laughed more and learned what it meant to both love and endure.

Paramore - "The Only Exception"

From a time when I was both heartbroken and in love, both afraid and elated beyond words.

Paramore - "Still Into You"

I was cooking for dinner with friends and he stood there in the kitchen and smiled, saying nothing and everything I needed to hear.

Linking experience and emotion to music, it's nothing new, I know. It's common, as natural as anything, but don't you think it's one of the most beautiful habits we have? I find myself collecting songs, in case they'll someday suit a fleeting moment. Silly, maybe. Or maybe not. Do you have a favorite song memory? What is it? ^^

On Sadness and Its Place

There's a friend who asked me about sadness, noticing that I seem to skip the negative here on my blog nowadays. She wondered whether I purposely kept things positive, and I said, yes I do. Truth is, I like to hold on to this as a lighter space, and I save the good, darker stuff for fiction. In any case, I thought I'd take a moment to share my thoughts on sadness and its place. I hold on to sadness like holding on to a new dress, waiting for the just-right day to wear it. I've always been a saver of new clothes, the sort of person who buys something and swears not to wear it until the perfect occasion comes up..only to finally debut it at some place. In any case, I tuck new clothes toward the back of my closet and make a mental note to grab them when the time's right, when I'm eventually ready. And so it goes, I've realized, with sadness.

Melancholy has always felt comfortable to me. Nostalgia and melancholy, those I can do, those are the backbone of the things I love. But sadness? It's not something I easily wear. I tug and itch at it, then reach for something softer, something a bit more worn-in. I pick melancholy usually, which tends to bleed into some shade of understanding if you sit with it long enough. 

Scattered weekends and occasional rainy day. Those are the times that I normally decide to unfold the sadness I've been stashing away. And when I unroll it, I spread it out, letting it splay across my chest so that I can really feel its weight, its pressure. Then I wallow. I  wade and sink and sometimes drown in whatever it is that made me itch, because I've come to realize that I can't let those stacks of sadness pile up forever. At some point or another, it's necessary to pick up each piece, see it for what it is, and throw it away so that I can move on.

This isn't to say that I always toss the bad stuff aside. There's room for pockets of sadness within each moment, I think. And if those spaces start to spill over, that's when it's time to bring them to light. That's when it's time to wallow, to call someone, to curl up in bed and read a book or listen to rainy-day songs or just sit there feeling sorry for yourself. Every so often, that's okay. There's a time and a place for sadness, and I've found that eventually, when I come across the right occasion, I'll try it on.

It's Called Emy

There's nothing more flattering than someone writing me a song. Ifo composed a new song in one night with his ukulele and it's called "Emy". Imagine my feeling when I woke up this morning with a new message by him, not a text, but an audio..and it's that song. Such a nice way to start a day. ;)

"Emy" by Ifo

It's weird to see my own name as a song title. :p

When I was a teenage girl, I was dreaming and hoping for a man who would serenade me a song while playing piano like in most movie. Now I know, it's not a dream anymore. Except, he's playing ukulele. I still love it. I can't help but feeling like all the flowers in the world are surrounding me and butterflies flying wildly in my tummy. Okay. I'm bad in metaphors. But for real, I'm thankful to have this man in my life. I pray that he's the one.. :)

p.s: Psssttt...it's our anniversary month. Heeee..

Just a Memory

Ifo made a new song called Memori. I've been listening to it over and over again because it reminds me of grandma. Ironically, Ifo made it on the night before my grandma passed away. Each time I play it, I'd get a feeling, the same one when I was listening to Paramore's In The Mourning, Avenged Sevenfold's So Far Away, Avril Lavigne's Slipped Away, etc. 

I hope you'll listen to the song and love it. The music and lyrics are solely made by Ifo, and here's the demo video, presented by Ifo and Naaszreen.

Memori - The Baks

Kau pergi jua,

Tinggalkan segala,

Takkan ku lupakan

Senyummu selalu

Tinggallah kenangan

Tinggallah memori

Memori yang terindah

Ku rindu dia

Sekian selamanya 

Ku ingat dia

Daydreaming All the Time

Well, most of you know how much I love Paramore, right? So imagine how crazy I become when a new music video by Paramore has released. Yesss!! They have released their new music video for my favorite song, DAYDREAMING. Let's watch:

Ain't it wonderful? The video is as beautiful as the song. That's why I love Paramore! They know exactly what their fans needed to listen and watch. At least for me. The video turns out better than what I expected. In case you're wondering what I've been dreaming of all day, all night, the video would tell you. 

I love all the shots; countryside scenery, a small town as trains pass through, and the band triumphantly rocking out onstage. It's about real life of someone who's counting down the days until they can get out on the road and see a different part of the world that they've been dreaming of themselves. I love it not only for the great work they've made, but also for the message they left. I may haven't experienced it yet, but I know that going to a concert is really expensive. You have to pay the ticket, flight, hotel room, train, cabs, etc. But in the end, it's all worth it. Not just seeing your favorite band, but it's sacrificing every single day by saving money and it's also a great experience with your friend by making a long trip and staying together. I think this video is a tribute to the fans. Thank you, Paramore. 

And for the record, I love how they got into an accidental detour to the band's dressing room, peeking through the door, Hayley saw them, smiled and waved. It's this part that I really really adore:

Ain't she pretty?! Oh I wish I was one of those girls. Someday. Someday I will be that girl who's marking the calendar, counting days, getting on flight, joining the crowd and screaming "Paramore!!".

It's my dream.

DAYDREAMING lyrics

Living in a city of sleepless people

Who all know the limits and won't go too far outside the lines

Cause they're' out of their minds.

I wanna get out and build my own home

On a street where reality is not much different from dreams I've had

A dream is all I have... 

Daydreaming, daydreaming all the time

Daydreaming, daydreaming into the night

And I'm alright

Creep past the hours like the shorter hand on the clock

Hanging on a wall of a schoolhouse somewhere

We wait for the bell

And we dream of somewhere else

Daydreaming, daydreaming all the time

Daydreaming, daydreaming into the night

And I'm alright

Not that I won't remember where I'm from

Just don't wanna be here no more

It's not enough

(We're only half alive)

I'm gonna go

(We're only half alive)

Where the rest of the dreamers go

Where the dreamers go

Daydreaming, daydreaming all the time

Daydreaming, daydreaming into the night

And I'm alright

Daydreaming, daydreaming all the time

Daydreamer, we used to be half alive

Now I'm alright

Most Memorable Photo

My favorite and most memorable photo that I've taken:

It was during a 5-day holiday trip to Manila, Philippines with my friends. We went to Manila Ocean Park on 2nd day and among all attractions, Jellies: The Dancing Sea Fairies was my favorite. Yes, they're real transparent jellyfishes that dance like fairies.

It's not like there's a lot of amazing stunts you can see. Their dancing was more like a slow waltz rather than hiphop dancing, for example. The changing colors of lights in the tanks made me feel magical as those jellies amazed me with their serene floating. I didn't even read the names of each jelly type because I was too mesmerized, it's like I was hypnotized by those sea fairies. I could spend a whole just watching them, honestly. And it's also one of the best times in my life. Travelling to a foreign country for the 1st time with my buddies was really great. We had so much fun. ^^

2 in 1: Happy 50th and New Piece by Ifo

That's for my country. Happy 50th Malaysia Day! Well, despite that I'm not entirely independent (part of me still colonized, frankly speaking), I'm really proud of being Malaysian. 

Growing up, I feel so proud living in Malaysia. "Malaysia Truly Asiaaaaa....." the radio played. Gorgeous views, beautiful people, SALE, harmonious land where its people of different races, cultures and religion live side by side with each other; the TV showed me. It made me realize how amazing Malaysia is. The text books said so too and well, I see that in school too where kids regardless of race or their skin color, played with each other.

And then I grew up. I saw many awful things. So many racism happening, so many conflicts with the politics, how the government brainwashed us to think that we're perfect, we are ONE, and so on. We have one of the worst human rights issue, we don't recognize refugees and treated them badly, MORE RACISM, we have 1st class infrastructure but 3rd class mentality..the list goes on. 

But don't let me kill whatever love or hope you have towards Malaysia just yet, because despite all these flaws that we face, no countries, even its people, are perfect. Malaysia is not that bad after all. We can praise other countries for their development and crazy technology and kick ass government service, but at the end of the day, home's where the heart is. You can't reject something that you're born into just because it's not 100% perfect. I hate Malaysians who go around talking about Malaysia and praising other countries. Seriously. If you're not happy with Malaysia, migrate, change your nationality, live there, rot there and die there, and then you realize how it's not all perfect there too. It's the whole "grass is greener on the other side" mentality. What you see's not always true.

I love Malaysia. It's not perfect, yes, I have to agree, but it's home and that's the only place where you're treated warmly and with open hands. If you're in other country, who knows what kind of treatment you'd get because well, you're not one of their own. Having said that, it doesn't mean that we can just shut up and go about life as if nothing is wrong with our home. There's a lot of wrongs here and we need to fix it. We must do something to change the future of our nation. So come on, lighten up! Live life to the fullest and stop being such a killjoy! 

And by the way, I'd like to share some pieces by our local talents with you, lovelies. My man, Ifo, has composed 2 new songs entitled Luka and Aramaiti. The songs were sang by our dear friend Rizal and the music's amazingly arranged by Icco, and the whole thing is immensely supported by The Baks. They totally made it! You'll love it, I promise. Enjoy the songs!

LUKA

[Verse 1]

Semalaman ku berfikirkan tentang kita berdua

Ku anggap kau dan aku selalu saling merindu

Purnama takkan berkekalan selamanya

Kita juga begitu

Ku ingin kau tahu

Kau cuba melupa, ku cuba fahami semuanya

Adakah kita kan bahagia seperti dulu?

Segala memori indah kita bersama

Semua menjadi palsu

Ku ingin kau tahu

[Chorus]

Oh

Ku terluka, ku terluka

Melihat kau disana bersama dia

Ku taruhkan, ku taruhkan

Segala harapan kita yang telah kau hapuskan

[Verse 2]  

Ku menangis seorangan, kau gembira bersamanya

Tidak terlintas walau sesaat kau ingatkan ku

Dipukul ombak pilu ku kenang senyummu

Tapi bukan untukku

Apakah kau tahu

[Chorus]  

Ohh 

Apa yang ku lakukan

hanya untukmu sayang

Inikah yang ku trima?

Kau pergi tanpa kata

 Mungkin ini suratan

Ku redha ketentuan

Ku hanya ingin kau tahu sayang

[Chorus]

Ooooooh (3X)

Kau hapuskan

  

ARAMAITI

[VERSE 1]

Ku bangun ku terima mesej

Dari mu kata kau minta putus

Ku terus mandi buat tak peduli

Padahal hati sunggulah sedih

Kawanku datang kerumahku

Singgah pinjam baju

Bilangnya padaku

[CHORUS]

Jangan kau resah

Semua pasti okay

Lupakan semua duka

Kita bersama bergembira, Aramaiti!

Mari kita merasa

Muda selamanya

Selamanya!

[Verse 2] 

Ku ke tempat kerja

Bos terus marah marah

Semua pun tak kena

aku pun boleh gila

Kawanku datang kepejabatku

Singgah hantar baju

bilangnya padaku

[CHORUS]

Fast in My Car to Future

I've been smiling all the time since last Thursday. How couldn't I, when Ifo got me this:

Imagine my reaction. Man, it's an awesome feeling! Oh I'm really in love with this guy.

So, yeap, I'm loving this album. Paramore have grown plenty in their music and they never fail in creating monster choruses. I adore their ability to blend genres..with songs swirl with hints of R&B, country and hard rock. Here's a little review of the album tracks.

#1. Fast in My Car - this album starts with a rebellious anthem. "been through the ringer a couple times" Hayley opens, "I came out callous and cruel". The music fits the lyrics perfectly.

#2. Now - "if there's a future, we want it now". It recalls their Misery Business jam long ago, but's surely a progression on their rebel pop sound.

#3. Grow Up - this has more of a fun bounce to it than the anger like in 1st two songs. Still, some mild irritation presents.  "I'm not a little girl no more," she sings after drying her tears and realizing she's got to drop some old friends to progress as person.

#4. Daydreaming - this track's a sweet cut about building a world that matches the ones constructed in fantasies. It's not as whimsical as its subject matter, but solid nonetheless.

#5. Interlude: Moving On - this 90-second gem is a simple one, featuring acoustic strums on the guitar, while Hayley coolly kisses off an old flame. "I could be angry, but you're not worth a fight" she sings, "and besides I'm moving on".

#6. Ain't It Fun - "ain't it fun living in the real world". It asks sarcastically to a spoiled brat discovering that the world doesn't revolve around them. Some xylophone taps and choir-like bridge make it more than your average rock song.

#7. Part II - fyi, this song's the sequel to Let the Flames Begin from Riot album. "I will catch fire to let your glory and mercy shine". She's ready to sacrifice her happiness for others.

#8. Last Hope - "the salt in my wounds isn't burning any more than it used to". It's suggesting that the lack of new pain is encouraging enough to believe that brighter days are coming.

#9. Still Into You - my favorite track! This is love anthem, fit for couples that have been together for a good while through ups and downs.

#10. Anklebiters - while hip-hop community calling naysayers as haters, Paramore calls them anklebiters, folks who prey on other people's actions. "Someday you're going to be the only one that you've got," she sings to those that should rely on their own thoughts and not what anklebiters are saying.

#11. Interlude: Holiday - with an ukulele, it's a brief cut about maturing from a high school kid to an adult, then enjoying some time off. "I don't plan on coming back," she sings nonchalantly and smoothly.

#12. Proof - just as I'm nearly dozed off on previous cut, they kick back in with a rock song where she takes her man deep-sea diving, with only love acting as their safety gear.

#13. Hate to See Your Heart Break - this is one of the lone ballads in the album and almost feels like a country song. Hayley walks down memory lane and sings about how love can hurt all. "Love happens all the time, to people who aren't kind and heroes who are blind."

#14. (One of Those) Crazy Girls - here she plays the role of a girl that refuses to be broken up with, threatening to break into her ex's home so that she can "go through your closet so I can smell your skin". LOL.

#15. Interlude: I'm Not Angry Anymore - another ukulele ditty where Hayley wavers between being bitter and sweet.

#16. Be Alone - this is about how her and her other half should be alone, together, I guess. Because she sings "we could be alone and never get too lonely".

#17. Future - encouraging listeners to keep looking ahead and following their dreams. It's a proper end to the set, gentle and aggressive all at once.

Rise from Ashes

Only a new track from Paramore could wake me from music blogging hibernation. For those who haven't knew, Paramore dropped a single recently, called "Now", from their upcoming self-titled album which is expected to be released on 9th April 2013. I'm thrilled!!

The song is different from their previous stuff, of course it is..they've grown and change, but I really love it. I'm totally hooked. It quickly settles into a distinct Paramore groove with massive guitars. The chorus explodes with energy and is a guaranteed sing-along. Hayley's vocals have improved a lot too and her voice is beautiful as ever. And she slightly sounds like Gwen Stefani in that song. Well, I've been following Hayley's updates via Twitter and Tumblr, and I saw how hard they've worked on this new album. The song Now shows that they've done a really great job. I feel like hugging Hayley right now. :p (jealousy strikes when I recall those Paramore's meeting-with-fans pictures while they're in KL last week, and I should be writing a post about the concert like Daniel C did, but sadly I wan't even there) 

I myself have memorized the lyrics since it's first released. So you can guess how many times I kept it on repeat for hours. I should have been at their concert and sing along with Hayley. Okay enough said. Overall, Now is a brilliant track and just the sort of thing to breathe life into this new incarnation of Paramore and I'm looking forward to listen to the whole album. Enjoy the song. ^^

"It just feels like the perfect way to start this new journey we are embarking on not only as a band but as a movement. To show people that you can lose battles but come back and win full on wars. You can rise from ashes. You can make something out of even less than nothing." - Hayley, Jeremy, Taylor