The Fangirl Moments

Today I didn't do much things and didn't go anywhere, was just staying at home, reading tweets and watching TV instead. But, it was a wonderful day and I'm very excited of these 2 things that came up today.

First off, I got to see 'NSYNC reuniting and performing live on stage on MTV VMA 2013 this morning. It was sooooo good to see them back together again. Really, it felt like the old times. I've always wanted my 90s back, that's the best era, you know. And it's absolutely the night for the President of Pop, Justin Timberlake. I loved it how he dove into a medley of his hits including SexyBack, Like I Love You, My Love and Cry Me A River, followed by a not-so-surprising performance of Girlfriend and Bye Bye Bye by ‘NSYNC. And that's where I screamed.

Congrats to Justin for winning The Video Vanguard Award, also known as the Lifetime Achievement Award, which is given to musicians who have made a profound effect on the MTV culture, something Justin has done so many times. It's touching when Justin dedicated his award to ‘NSYNC. Ironically, Britney Spears, his most famous ex, was the last artist to receive the award in 2011. Other winners include the Beastie Boys, Madonna and Janet Jackson. I'm so proud of my teenage crush. I love you, Justin. You'll always be my crush. :p

Annnnnndd second off, oh gosh, I don't know how to put this into words. Well, I actually know. Okay here we go: THE FAULT IN OUR STARS IS NOW A MOVIE! Have you read the book? No? How could you not read the awesome book? Dude, you gotta get the book now and read it. Don't wait till the movie comes out to know the story, it'll be less fun. 

It's written by deary John Green, who was just posting a picture of the set of the film via Instagram. And I am so psyched! So the film will be casting by Ansel Elgort (newcomer, I guess) and Shailene Woodley (played Alex in The Descendants). Oh gosh! It's like a dream come true. I did wish that the book will be filmed someday. I can't believe it's happening. Finally..Hazel Grace, Gus, phalanxifor, An Imperial Affliction, etc..are now real. You'd know what I'm talking about if you read the book. :p

By the way, click here to read my review of the book: Aemy's Review on The Fault In Our Stars.

Carrying the Torch of Ramadan Forward

It's been weeks since Ramadan has passed. Our Qurans have shut. Our mosques have emptied. And our hearts have once again filled with the love of life, the hatred of death and the desires that consume us. And so while we find ourselves again vulnerable to the very same struggles that plagued us before Ramadan, let us not forget the very purpose of our efforts during that blessed month. Let us not allow the fruits of Ramadan to be lost. And let us not miss out on the very purpose of our fasting.

If, during Ramadan, we're able to keep ourselves from eating and drinking out of fear of Allah, are we not able to keep ourselves from forbidden things after Ramadan, out of that same fear? During Ramadan, we could wake up before sunrise to feed our bodies. But after Ramadan we sleep through dawn and starve our souls. Let us not allow ourselves to be conquered. The power and choice is ours.

How do we continue the spirit of Ramadan for the entire year, and throughout our lives?

1. Guard your prayers. 

During Ramadan, many of us make sure to pray every prayer on time. Continue to guard your prayers, because surely they will guard you. 

2. Remember Allah by staying close to the Quran. 

During Ramadan, many of us spend our nights and days reading Quran. Remembering Allah by staying close to the Quran everyday will protect you from evil and keep your heart polished.

3. Think more and talk less. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: “Sometimes a person says a thing which pleases Allah, and in return Allah raises his status; and sometimes a person says something which displeases Allah, and it takes him to hell” (Bukhari).

4. Repent often. 

Many of us seek forgiveness from Allah during Ramadan, but abandon this practice once Ramadan's over. Keep in mind that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ used to repent to Allah a hundred times every single day. Repenting often keeps our hearts clean and always connected to Allah.

- From the book Reclaim Your Heart by Yasmin Mogahed.

If I Were a Dude

I've never wished to be a man, and it gets on my last nerve when I hear a girl wishing she was a man because you are what you are and wishing to be something or someone else is a sign of weakness. Yet, it’s interesting to think of what could have been, you know. Obviously I can't know for sure how things would be if I were a man, but I can at least imagine it and come out with a hypothesis.

So, for starters, if I were a man I think I'd probably be emotionally crippled. I mean, I already have a hard time expressing my feelings as a girl, add some testosterone and a drizzle of macho pride to that and you have a concrete wall. Yet, I think I'd be a family guy with no commitment issues, but I'd have a big problem handling rejection, and it wouldn't matter how many chances I blew because after all my pride is what matters the most, or so I'd think. 

If I were a man, I'd probably be a workaholic, burying myself in work to avoid social duties. I'd also be into sci-fi and mystery books. I wouldn't be one of those guys who drool over cheap singers, but I'd appreciate beauty for sure. I'd probably have some very good female friends and some male friends who are the complete opposite of me. I would have a couple of crushes and would have my heart broken a few times with unrequited love.

I'd generally be a calm person, trying to do the right thing when faced with a crisis, to be strong and not to panic, because after all I'm a man and I should live up to that title. I'd be in constant competition with others especially in the work place. I'd feel responsible for everything that is anything. I’d have a good relationship with my brothers, probably not as good as my relationship with them as a sister, for some reason, but I'd have a totally different life style, and for some reason I feel that I'd be my mother's favorite son, but of course she wouldn't say that.

Well, as I said this is all hypothetical. Who knows? Maybe if I were a man I would be a complete loser. In any case all I can say is: Thank God I’m a woman.

Love Yourself, Kiddo

And kid, you've got to love yourself. You've got to wake up at four in the morning, brew black coffee and stare at the birds drowning in the darkness of the dawn. You've got to sit next to the man at the train station who’s reading your favorite book and start a conversation. You've got to come home after a bad day and burn your skin from a shower. Then you've got to wash all your sheets until they smell of lemon detergent you bought at the local grocery store. You've got to stop taking everything so damn personally. You're not the moon kissing the black sky. You've got to compliment someones crooked brows at an art fair and tell them that their eyes remind you of green swimming pools in mid July. You've got to stop letting yourself get upset about things that won't matter in 2 years. Sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake yourself up early on Sunday. You've got to stop worrying about what you're going to tell her when she finds out. You've got to stop over thinking why he stopped caring about you over 6 months ago. You've got to stop asking everyone for their opinions. Love yourself, kiddo. You've got to love yourself.

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Red is Courage, Red is Love

Right now, I'm on the cusp. Ending one chapter and preparing for the one ahead. It's terrifying. I'm sick with not knowing what to do. And more than anything, I'm so embarrassed I have no plan. I'm almost 23 and I have no idea what I should do next. But I did apply for jobs. So that's why I've been a bit scattered down. I'm overwhelmed by everything and I need to reach out. 

In the meantime, I'm still on the mode of Aidilfitri. Me and the whole family were going to Ifo's raya open house yesterday. The meals were great and everyone was wonderful. I was glad to get the chance to meet Ifo's relatives that I have and haven't met before, both from Brunei and Dusun sides. They're all nice people. I was blushing when they called me "sumandak Nazri (Ifo's name at home)" instead of my name, and when they asked us about getting married. But I liked that, I liked being teased that way. Heeee.. :p

Surprisingly, Ifo's relatives at Brunei side are related to my family. So yes, me and Ifo are quite related. Like, Ifo is an uncle and I am a niece. Wow. I'm dating my uncle. LOL. It doesn't matter though. We're still allowed, right? :p 

We're here!

Red is courage, red is love. :)

The Baks were there too. ^^