October 28, 2013

Twenty Something





When I was 13, I couldn't wait to be 18. I thought I'd know it all by then, have all the answers and that prized freedom. And when I was 16, I planned to be married by age 24..lol. I'll always smile to myself when I think about how time changes things. And when I turned 20 I made a list of as many goals as I had in years. By my 23rd birthday, I've accomplished half of them. And a funny thing will happen about the time you turn 23. People start asking about marriage and job. You begin to worry about savings, health, house, car and everything. And sometimes you start to compare your 23 years with everyone else's. You wonder if you're on the right track because it's different from all the people you're surrounded by. You start going to your friends' weddings and buying baby gifts for birthdays. And suddenly you realize you're at the exact age that seemed so far away just 5 years ago.

I’ve always liked including myself in the 20 something category. Growing up, but not quite grown up. You're an adult, but still recognize that you're part kid, you know. I've enjoyed the navigating of adulthood and all of my new first time experiences. A job. My 1st paycheck. Being old enough to travel. But it seems like the older I've gotten, the more aware I've become of my short-lived stay in the '20s' and the pressure to fit the mold of all of the rest of the 'twenthirders'. I've started to think about how easy it is to become controlled by our age. And the expectation of what your age signifies to everyone else..how old you should be by the time you graduate, buy your 1st house, get married, have kids, etc. Suddenly it seems like there are all these benchmarks to meet, even when they don't match the goals you're trying to reach.

Forget molds. Because as easy it is to forget, you're free to do what you want with your life. The problem is, that can be quite the responsibility, to live your life the way you want to, rather than the way you're expected to. Especially if that means taking a big jump. And especially when that jump may feel like a free fall. Maybe quit your 1st job and go back to college continuing study if that feels right. Maybe get married or don't. Maybe you change your mind, end a relationship that no longer serves you. Become a different person. Maybe you move away or move back home. Or maybe you're scared to do these things because it's uncomfortable and unexpected. Maybe it's because you don't know if everything would fall into place or you're scared what that would mean if it did.

Dear teenagers, when you're in your 20s, I hope you buy a flight ticket to other countries. I hope you get lost wandering all of the streets. I hope you travel the world and read lots of books. I hope you have interesting conversations over warm cups of tea. I hope you set goals and change them. Write a book. Change your mind. Start new friendships and let go of the ones that you need to. Say goodbye to all of the things that have kept you stagnant and vow to keep moving forward. I hope you stay up all night laughing with your friends. And when you're 30, learn something new. I hope your life is one of wisdom and youth, adventure and old age, no matter what year it was that you were born. And then it goes on.

But what I really mean to say is that I hope you aren't held back because of a number, that you don't rush into things because it feels like time is slipping by. Do what's right for you.  Hold on, slow down, and breathe in. Your age is your age. But more importantly, your life is your life. Don't change your journey so that it matches someone else's. We need to walk different paths so the whole world can be explored. Revel in the differences and enjoy where you are. :)



8 comments:

  1. Hi, Aemy :) This is a good reminder for me. I mean, I'm only 20 and still in my first year of degree but I already feel the urge to compare myself with the other 20's around me which I know is not good and there are also days when I thought to myself 'what if i failed to do this and that?' but this post help to remind myself what matters :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad that it's useful for u. It's also a reminder for myself, it's important to remember this kind of thing everyday. Just like my previous post, I shared something about comparison that kills. Well, there's a long way to go for both of us :)

      Delete
  2. "People start asking about marriage" you'll get a lot of that if u about turn 30 and still single..especially during wedding reception..haha..as for teenagers that was a good advice and i think they should spend more time doing what they want to do responsibly coz those day wont come back..hehehe

    Regards,
    -Azlan-

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha..don't need to wait til 30, I've already got a lot of that now, and yes, especially at wedding reception. Crazy huh. Haha..

      Delete
  3. True. Life is hard on my side now but i like this:"Hold on, slow down, and breathe in." Have a good day Aemy :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope everything turns out okay soon, Mich. Have a good day too :)

      Delete
  4. Well written!

    Exactly what I think too. People these day expecting we do exactly what others in our age does. I mean, when to get married, start a family, big car / house etc. Had enough people asking me the same questions. Its our life and we do what we want with it. If we want to get marry when we're in 30, let it be. Its our choice.

    P.s Wait till you're almost 25. Questions got insane. hehe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, you see how comparison sucks? Hehe..well, we just go with it. :p

      Delete

Thank you for dropping by. Keep a song in your heart and have a nice day. Au revoir.

 

Copyright © 2009-2017 Aemy Nadira. All Rights Reserved. Powered by Blogger.