New Year without Resolution

Nope, no new year's resolution for me. Because my new year's resolutions never make it to the next year. Somehow excuses, stress or sidetracks always get in the way. Don't get me wrong, I'm the biggest advocate for personal growth and accomplishing goals. But for me, new year's resolutions don't always work that way.

My resolution is days. Days full of meaning. Especially because I love nothing more than writing up a to-do list for the things I need to accomplish that day (and I'm usually successful at completing my lists).  I started this because it's important for me to start right when I was extremely motivated. While loving the idea of bringing on the new year with a personal goal in mind, I also love the idea of bettering yourself at any given moment of every single day.

Last year I was told that the way you spend your new year is the way you'll spend your year. True or not, I liked how it sounded. So this year, I make sure my new year's perfect. I'm gonna spend it with the people I love. Laughing, away from my phone, cooking and eating together, being grateful, and having fun.

One of my worst personal qualities was my problem with focusing on the final destination rather than the journey. I typically got stressed out over life's trivial details and took it all too seriously. And at the end of the day, month, year, etc..my usual regret was that I worried much. But not this year, and especially not this new year's eve.

Hello 2014, I'm glad you're here.
Happy New Year!!!

Be Biased for Once

Although I spend an absurd amount of time thinking, planning and considering new year's resolutions, I don't necessarily believe in them. I mean I don't think you have to wait until January 1st to start, or that you need to wait until a specific holiday season to begin reflecting about the changes and improvements you'd like to make. I believe there's no time like the present, and that the best time to start is always now. However, I also like what January 1st has become to people. A night of celebrating life and surrounding yourself with the people you love. I like the newness that surrounds midnight, the feeling that you get to start over, or try again. And I especially like the promise that it holds.

What a difference one minute can make. But really, couldn't the same be said for every day? New years are wonderful, but so are new days. I'm sure I say this enough, but each day is a celebration. A new start. Another change to get it right. Every day can be filled with the same motivation to conquer your goals and with the same high expectations you set for yourself  at 12:01 am.

Whether we set your goals for the year or focus on one day at a time, I hope we choose to use every day as an opportunity to be better. To do what we've always hoped and to work on being that person we said we'd become. Real progress takes work, that short term sacrifices will likely result in long term gains. We're worth the time, effort and commitment. I can never come up with one single resolution, I need more time and more thought. But in the meantime, I've been referring to this list that I got from somewhere in Tumblr and I'd like to share with you. :)

When you're sad:

1. Write letters to the people you love. Don't seal them, don't send them. Instead, stick them between the pages of library books.

2. Venture outside and observe natural life. Watch a honey bee suck the nectar from flowers. Watch a snail slowly make its way towards the shade of a tree. Watch a bird innocently fly around the sky. Realize how insignificant you are.

3. Smile at strangers, say hello. It'll improve their day and your own.

4. Write lists. They can be about anything.

5. Read several pages of the dictionary. Learn new words. Write down the ones you wish to remember.

6. Never feel compelled to apologize when you don't feel sorry. It's okay that you're honest. It's okay that you have a different opinion from someone else.

7.  Read books and watch movies from your childhood. A healthy dose of nostalgia is okay. Immerse yourself in your past innocence. 

8. Walk to a park and get on a swing. Go as high as you can, feel limitless. The world is yours.

9. Eat if you're hungry. Food is not the enemy. You're a human and need food to survive. You deserve to eat.

10. Don't marinate in your sadness. You're not a steak. You're a person, you're irreplaceable. Open yourself up to contentment. Bathe in the rivers of glee. Go for hikes with satisfaction. Sleep in a warm cocoon of blankets with bliss. Let endless happiness overcome your hopeless sadness. You deserve to be happy. If life's a game and you're the referee, be biased for once and let happiness win.

Jingle Bell Rock

So how did we celebrate our 5th anniversary? Dinner at a romantic restaurant, stroll on the beach, movies.....nahh, those are typical. We did what we love to, we're just hanging out in bookshop (I just got myself John Green's Paper Towns ^^), having lunch at mamak stall and talking for hours. All those happened in the place where we had our 1st date and declared to be a couple. :p

Well it's not one-day celebration, and sometimes an anniversary isn't necessarily meant to be celebrated by 2 people. Being together for 5 years have brought us to get closer with everyone else, especially our friends, because most of our sweet moments were involving them and we wanted to share this happiness. So we cooked some simple meals, baked a cake and had dinner together at Ifo's house. Then we had karaoke til midnight while eating the cake we baked. It's really a fun night. Not to brag, but as I love cooking, I was glad to cook my recipe for my loved ones and they liked it. As the saying goes "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach", well honestly I kinda put that into practice to impress my man. Heeee... :D

On 25th, we went to Tuaran to meet Ifo's Dusun relatives as they had a little feast for Ifo's grandparents to celebrate christmas. And at night, we're invited to a christmas party at Ifo's cousins' house, and one of the cousin is Nelly's (my best friend) husband-to-be. ^^ What a small world, everyone can be related. It was a great party with beautiful decoration. Ifo and friends grabbed chance to join a game called Running Man. I never watch the show so I had no idea about it, but it's just apparently an eating competition. Each group consists of 6 persons, and every member must finish boiled egg, hot curry Maggie, ice cream, chocolate bar, a bottle of mineral water and coke as fast as possible. The foods were simple and finishing them seemed easy, the real challenge was the psycho cheers from the crowds as they shouted, "muntah..muntah..muntah!" One of our friends almost puked eating the egg, me who's watching also felt like throwing up. Their psycho really worked. Anyway, Ifo's group won 2nd place and we went home with 2 hampers and lots of treats. 

Such a nice way to end the year. ^^

cooked for the loved ones

me and Ifo with 2 beautiful christmas cakes

with my friend a.k.a biras-to-be, Nelly

enjoying meals with the hosts of the party

congrats guys!

5 Years and Counting

Forever can never be long enough for me, to feel like I've had long enough with you..
- Train, Marry Me

The thing about love is that you find a way. It's funny the way things look different when you're in love, the moments are clearer and crisp, but it's the absence of love that makes you notice. I know 6 things about love: 1) it'll make you a better person, 2) it's simple, 3) the more you give, the more you have, 4) it's constant, 5) it can be everything you've hoped for, and 6) it must start with yourself.

I don't know if the world provides us with soulmates, but what I do know is that there's someone I'd pick every time. :)

This man right here, I owe him the world. He has shown me how great it can be to love someone, and how important it is to love and accept myself. He has taught me how to be comfortable in my skin and how to let go of my anger. He has proven to me that there's someone who will love the darkest, scariest parts of you. I've spent 5 years getting to know this beautiful soul as well as to know myself. Within those years we've had some barriers between us, some rough patches, but we're still into each other. I'm so lucky and so blessed to have been given such an amazing and loving man. I thank God every day for sending me such a perfect addition to my life. With him, my weird feels normal and that's all I can ever ask for. 

And today marks our 5th anniversary. Happy anniversary, dearest Ifo. I love you, always have and always will. :)

Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute - even when the waters get deep, and dark.

It's Called Emy

There's nothing more flattering than someone writing me a song. Ifo composed a new song in one night with his ukulele and it's called "Emy". Imagine my feeling when I woke up this morning with a new message by him, not a text, but an audio..and it's that song. Such a nice way to start a day. ;)

"Emy" by Ifo

It's weird to see my own name as a song title. :p

When I was a teenage girl, I was dreaming and hoping for a man who would serenade me a song while playing piano like in most movie. Now I know, it's not a dream anymore. Except, he's playing ukulele. I still love it. I can't help but feeling like all the flowers in the world are surrounding me and butterflies flying wildly in my tummy. Okay. I'm bad in metaphors. But for real, I'm thankful to have this man in my life. I pray that he's the one.. :)

p.s: Psssttt...it's our anniversary month. Heeee..