Graduation Speech

So. No Fiction Friday today, just like last Friday. Those who have been waiting for the next chapter of Letting Go, I'm sorry..I'll try to continue next week. I hardly have time to write for the time being with convocation and stuff coming. Well, it's tomorrow, actually. Yay I'm graduating! So I don't have much to write at the moment, though I've got a lot in mind. I just wanna share this one..which will pretty much tell you how I really feel (though I'm neither the best student nor giving speech on graduation).

Blissful Weekend

Last weekend was awesome. Me and family and Ifo went to Kundasang for a holiday trip, we stayed at Little Hut, Mesilau for a night. It's a nice place, with breathtaking view, surrounded by beautiful flowers, windy, cozy cold..such a sanctuary. And there's an onion field in front of the homestay house. 

After checking in to homestay, we went to Poring, it's for the kids. Then we headed to Tagal River to experience a fish massage, which was incredibly great. It's not the normal fish massage that you might get in spa, but this one is huge fish. I was amazed to see a group of big fish swimming around the feet of visitors who stood in the river. At first I was afraid to go down but it'd be waste if I didn't try, so I dipped my feet in the river while feeding the fishes. Oh gosh..I can feel them nibbling my skin. It didn't hurt, just itchy and slippery. Ifo showed us how to feed them right (he went there before); hold the food in your palm, dip your hand in the river and slowly release the food, the fishes would come rushing to your hand. I didn't try that one. :p

That night, we just stayed in homestay and cooked our dinner. Ifo helped us in the kitchen and he even made the grilled banana leaf wrapped fish. My sister said he passed the test. Lol. 

At 3.30 am, we all woke up for qiamullail, it's a practice in Islam to perform tahajjud and hajat prayers at the middle of night, followed by tazkirah and Subuh prayer. It's my dad's idea, which was very good to get much benefits from Allah. Honestly, I'm thankful for being born in the family. Bercuti sambil beramal, they say. 

In the morning, before going to Desa Cattle, we walked around our place and took pictures. Really, it's a very nice place for sightseeing and taking photo, I love how they design the houses with English vintage style. It inspired me to design my own house someday. ^^ So we went to Desa Cattle. We bought milk, met and greeted the calves and goats. The kids had so much fun feeding the tamed young goats. Before heading home, we stopped at Kundasang town to buy some fruits and vegetables. 

It's an awesome vacation. ^^

if only the peak of Mount Kinabalu wasn't covered by the clouds

look at those fishes

i wanna know what does the fox say about us

i can see Mount Kinabalu from my room

;)

brother and the cute house

me and the onion field

my lovelies are feeding the goats

cows might pooped the grass, but we don't care

awesome weekend

Strong as the Wolf Pack

A wolf pack is like the Mafia. Everyone has a position in it. 

An alpha wolf is the leader of the pack. This is the mob boss, the brains of the outfit, the protector, the one who tells the other wolves where to go, when to hunt, what to hunt. The alpha is the decision maker, the capo di tutti capi, who, from 10 feet away, can hear the change of rhythm in a prey animal's heart rate. The alpha's actually far too valuable, as the decision maker, to put himself in harm's way.

Which is why in front of every alpha is a beta wolf, an enforcer. The beta rank is the bold, big thug who's pure aggression. He'll take you down before you get too close to the boss. He's completely expendable. If he gets himself killed, no one will really care, because there's always another brute to take his place.

Then there's the tester wolf, who's very wary and suspicious, who doesn't trust anyone he meets. He's always scouting for change, for something new, and he'll be hiding out at every corner to make sure that, when and if it happens, he's there to alert the alpha. His skittishness is integral to the safety of the pack. And he's the quality-control guy too. If someone in the pack doesn't seem to be pulling his weight, the tester will create a situation where the other wolf has to prove his mettle. Like picking a fight with the enforcer, for example. If that beta can't knock him to the ground, he doesn't deserve to be the beta wolf anymore.

The omega wolf was thought to be a scapegoat and at the bottom of the hierarchy, but he plays a key role in the pack. If 2 animals are fighting, the omega will jump between them and will clown around, until suddenly the 2 angry wolves have taken their emotions down a notch. Everyone gets on his job, and no one gets hurt. The omega holds the critical position of peacemaker. Without him the pack couldn't function; they'd be at a war with each other all the time. 

Say what you will about the Mafia, but it works because everyone has a specific role to play. They all do what they do for the greater good of the organization. They'd willingly die for each other. The other reason a wolf pack is like the Mafia? Because, for both groups, there's nothing more important than family

- I get this from Lone Wolf by Jodi Picoult. It's an amazing story. You can read my review here. 

And I've also learned that there are 3 types of wolf howls: a rallying howl, which is a vocal beacon to bring back a missing member of the pack; a locating howl, which is like a voice message to give the placement of any pack that's in the area; and finally, a defensive howl, which is much deeper, and used to protect your territory. Amazing huh?

Unrequited

..this one is quite related to the previous post..

Would you ever go after a guy that isn't interested in you? If you would, what would you do to get to know him more and how to talk to him? I'm really awkward while he's really lively.

Stop. Please, for your own sake. Guys who aren't interested in you don't deserve you. That's it. End of story. Why torture yourself over someone who doesn't appreciate all the things you have to offer? When it happens, with a person, it happens. You know. You fit. You both work for it.

If a guy didn't realize it, well maybe he may at one point "get it" but, it's not your job to wait. Do your thing. Be the best person you can be for yourself. 

Be his friend, be yourself. At the end of the day, that's all you can do. 

Love will Come Eventually

Remember I posted this: We all Start as Strangers? I mentioned about heartbreak there. So let's talk about it. Well, I'd rather slay dragons on any day than have to deal with heartbreak. Heartbreak is the pits. And I've had some trepidation about whether or not to blog about my old heartaches. Because one weird thing about blogs, it's all archived. So even whenever you try and move along, you catch yourself peeking back at those moments. Being brave is something you admire in others and long to be yourself. But it's not that I ain't moving on, of course I've moved on. I'm happier now. This is just a little sharing that might be useful for some of you.

  

So here it goes, young loves.

Long before I met my true love, I dated someone else. He was decent and kind and we had a blast together. I came to really care about him. I loved our times together and I simply adored his family. Honestly, I still respect his family. But then it happens. You know, you drift apart and you realize your lives are headed in remarkably different directions. As much as it breaks your heart and makes you dizzy all at once, you try and accept it's for the best.

But then again, holy guacamole, I had some rough days trying to believe it's for the best. Breakups are flipping weird, ya'll. You go from being best friends with a person to absolutely never speaking again. How does that even make sense? I guess it doesn't. But who ever said love made sense? And in my case, it wasn't even love after all. I must say that as much as it hurt, it was kind of a fresh start, of sorts. 

To my surprise, I got into a new groove. I came out from under my duvet to find the same beautiful world that had always been there, with or without boyfriend. I began to grow and learn so much about myself. And eventually, I met Ifo. :) 

And up until now I learn to accept some things:

• when someone shows you who they are, believe them the 1st time.
• your friends see through a lot of crap.
• don't become a doormat. People love a good doormat.
• respect (yourself, others, just as much as others should respect you).
• you can still care about him at times, but as the ever so wise Elizabeth Gilbert put it, "so miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it." 
• love will come, but don't rush it.
• because it's on its way, waiting to arrive at the most perfect of times.
• just because you broke up, it doesn't make the happiness you had with the person any less real. That happiness was so real.
• never allow your heart to refuse love. Love helps you heal and somebody loves you. Allah loves you.