June 25, 2013

Is It a Contentment or Happiness





A few months ago, I talked to my old friend and I asked how's she doing, she said that she “wasn't great but content.” It's a throwaway comment, but it stuck with me. There's this sad permanence in her tone of voice. It's like she reconciled herself to the fact that she’s never going to be great and that it's what it is. I think that sucks. I never want to be content. I want to be happy. Unfortunately, that's what I exactly feel right now after what had happened today. 

I’m not good at much. It’s true. I’m genuinely not saying that to garner sympathy, I’m just a realist. If you were to stack up what I’m good at in one column and what I’m bad at in another, the difference would be staggering. In fact, off the top of my head, my only discernible skills are being nearly unbeatable in Scramble and Candy Crush on the phone. Aside from that, I can write. And even if you aren't entertained by my crap, I am. It makes me happy, not content. That fact is why I’m trying to make a living out of it. That fact also brings me to my point: being content is not being happy. And after today, after 4 years, I don't feel happy at all, but content, because it's not what I'm good at, it's not what I dream for.

Being content is settling. It means that you’re almost happy. It’s like saying you're going to win the gold but settling for silver. Yes. I've found something I love. That’s what I should have done since 4 years ago, I should've gone to the other road, the road not taken. Now I regret and I won't take the wrong turn anymore. I've seen some friends and family doing the things they love. It’s inspiring. It’s also what fuels my attempts to go for my dreams. I still have time. And happiness is the most subjective of things. It’s the most personal journey there is. 

What makes you happy, friends? I imagine for the person who always wanted to be a teacher, it’s when you’re standing in front of your first classroom. I imagine for the person who always wanted to practice medicine, it’s the first time you save someone’s life. And I imagine for someone who always wanted to be a writer, it's the moment you're holding your self-written published book. 

Let's be happy. Don't be afraid to fail but don't choose something you're forced to do. Be afraid to look back when you're old and gray and realize you never tried. That's scary, failing isn't. When someone asks how I’m doing someday, I never want to answer by saying that I’m content. I want to say that I’m great. I realize not everyone can be great. But no one should give up on their own personal pursuit of happiness before trying their absolute effort to get there. 








5 comments:

  1. "Don't be afraid to fail but don't choose something you're forced to do"

    Thanks for this words, Aemy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well said, Aemy!

    I actually feel something like that too, content. That's when I lost my motivation to blog. I dunno why.

    But I know I'm suppose to do greater things, achieve more. Not just surfing the net and playing pc games. lol.

    And I always felt something was missing whenever I did the stuff that I want to do. But then I realise, one of the stuff that I'm suppose to do is blog.

    :D What am I talking now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. because u have a career & u live in a great place, so u dont have much time to blog. i understand that. and so i'm honored to see u back again & spend a moment to read my piece. hehehe. i missed u Arms ;)

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  3. Always inspiring like always...:)

    ReplyDelete

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