June 2, 2013

My Unexplainable Sentiment




I wanna give up sometimes. I wanna crumple up all paper I've ever set my worthless thoughts on and shoot them into dustbin. I wanna drain all memories out of their banks and dump them into the roaring ocean and laugh as they roll away with the waves.

You know, the way you wanna throw away sentiments from an ex lover? Especially after they've ripped your heart out and stomped on it as if it's a fire hazard, until every last ember of love is extinguished into a thick layer of soot that coats the ground beneath their ungrateful feet. That's the way I wish to rid myself of this insatiable thirst to explain the unexplainable. But this is not about any ex lovers. This is about...it's unexplainable.

It's completely and utterly unattainable. Just like the moon will always be out of reach even when it appears to be hanging low enough to grab, so are the perfect words to describe that memory we wish to hold in our wretched hearts forever.

A memory may perch on the tip of our tongues long enough to convince us that we can capture its beauty indefinitely, but just a nanosecond before we obtain the wealth of wisdom, it withholds. It'll flutter away like a butterfly flapping iridescent wings. Just like that it'll vanish into thin air as if it never even existed and we'll soon forget what's so important about that flighty recollection in the 1st place.

I'll forget how incredibly painful losing something so beautiful can be. And at the same time, I'll forget how to trust. That's what frightens me the most. That's what drives me to say ludicrous things about my thirst to explain the unexplainable because I fear, with every ounce of my being, that I'll forget how to trust.





2 comments:

  1. Hello Aemy, Life can be tough, and sometimes fate plays the wrong cards.
    Life will always have its hiccups....but life goes on.
    If you must, cry a river. Then build a bridge and cross over, don't look back.

    And sometimes thru the mists of tears we fail to see a new door opening for us.
    So smile, and keep a song in your heart.
    Best regards.
    Lee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Lee,
      that's such a thoughtful thing to say. it means a lot to me. thank u so much :)

      Delete

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