June 21, 2013

Fiction Friday: Walk On By

If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours, and if they don't they never were. - Kahlil Gibran





We ran into each other the other day. In the midst of all the people who went off the train that afternoon, there he was. I hadn't seen him for over a month but you looked just the same. He had that wrinkle I know so well between he eyebrows, the one that he got when he was feeling impatient or annoyed and I couldn't help myself but to smile. 

I'd barely rested my eyes on him for more than a few seconds when he noticed me. A look of recognition and we paved our way through the crowd towards each other. A quiet hi, and of course the most common question of all, “How are you?”

I was just about to answer that everything was fine, everything was just normal, yes everything was just like it was supposed to be, when the words I was going to pronounce got stuck down my throat. He gazed at me with his honest brown eyes, the ones I'd always been able to tell everything and I felt how my lie crumbled into dust. I couldn't lie to his face, I couldn't lie to him at all. So instead I took a deep breath and spoke the truth. 

“It's crap.”
He froze and looked surprised. This wasn't the answer he'd expected to his rhetorical question but I was tired of playing strong so I continued,
“It's crap because you and me are acting like strangers. As if we haven't known each other. It's crap because we don't see each other anymore. I missed you. I missed you so much that it hurts. But do you know what the worst part is? The fact that you don't seem to miss me at all. Are we still together?” 

The waiting hall fell silent. All the train travelers seemed to have disappeared and we were all alone. 
Seconds passed but he remained quiet. I wanted him to say something. I wanted so badly for him to say anything at all but instead he gave me that hurt puzzled look which said, “I don't know what to say,” so I did what first came to mind, I turned around and left. 

I left despite the fact I had so much more to say. More explanations, questions and things I missed about him. And yet, as I stumbled down the stairs with tears rising in my eyes, I got a feeling of accomplishment because at least now, he knew. Now he knows. Now he knows how I feel and where I stand. All my cards are on the table and there is nothing more I can do. It's up for him to decide where we go from here. 

If it is going to be an us or simply just a he and then me. All I want is an answer. An answer to let me moving forward either alone or with him. An answer for me to escape from waiting. But for what it is worth, I'm hoping for the first alternative. I am hoping for an us. 




12 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. i thought its gonna make u cry. haha. yes, it'll continue, but to another story. hehe

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    2. i did! haha okay..almost. yes please continue to a happy ending haha the typical ending lah kan..

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  2. You composed that on your own? Wow. It's awesome. I can imagine the situation clearly while reading the story. ;)

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  3. You composed that on your own? Wow. It's awesome. I can imagine the situation clearly while reading the story. ;)

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  4. so sweet lah aemy..ada sambungan ka ni?

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    Replies
    1. emm..im not sure yet, sy kira mau buat crita lain lg. 1 post 1 story. hehe

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  5. awesome, dear! sy imagine situasi ni cerita tadi. macam dalam movie!

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  6. Things like this always happen whenever the break up wasn't done properly. Because I think, apart from breaking up, the I-am-not-sure-we-still-want-each-other is the most painful thing a lover can ever feel in life.

    ;P

    Happy Tuesday, Aemy the little lady. Wakaka.

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    Replies
    1. heyy Arms!! strong Arms?? hahaha..

      yes, that's true. hesitation, is it the right word? it sucks more than breaking up

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