August 30, 2013

Lessons of a Lifetime

1. Never cancel lunch/dinner plans by text message.

2. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.

3. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.

4. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

5. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

6. Don’t dumb it down.

7. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.

8. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.

9. Hold your heroes to a high standard.

10. Never lie to your doctor.

11. All guns are loaded.

12. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.

13. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.

14. A handshake beats an autograph.

15. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.

16. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.

17. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

18. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.

19. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.

20. When traveling, keep your wits about you.

21. It’s never too late for an apology.

22. If you have the right of way, take it.

23. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.

24. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.

25. Never push someone off a dock.

26. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.

27. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.

28. Don’t make a scene.

29. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.

30. Know when to ignore the camera.

31. Never gloat.

32. Invest in good luggage.

33. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.

34. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.

35. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.

36. Give credit. Take blame.

37. Suck it up every now and again.

38. Don’t stare.

39. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.

40. If you've made your point, stop talking.

41. Admit it when you’re wrong.

42. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.

43. Look people in the eye when you thank them.

44. Thank the bus driver.

45. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.

46. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

47. Know at least one good joke.

48. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.

49. Know how to cook one good meal.

50. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.

51. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.

52. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.

53. Always thank the host.

54. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.

55. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.

56. There is nothing wrong with a plain T-shirt.

57. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.

58. Keep your word.

59. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately.

60. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for 9 months.

61. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.

62. Don’t be the talker in a movie.

63. You are what you do, not what you say.

64. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.

65. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.

66. Don’t litter.

67. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.

68. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.

69. Never call someone before 9 am or after 9 pm.

70. Make the little things count.

71. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.

72. You’re never too old to need your mom.

73. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.

74. Know the words to your national anthem.

75. Smile at strangers.

76. Make goals.

77. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.

78. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.

79. Guys, respect women. 

80. Family always comes first. 


  1. The best part was "Make time for your mom on your birthay, its her special day too" It almost made me cried. It never crossed into my mind that my birthday is a special day to my mom. TT


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